The body is the physical expression of consciousness. It is only one aspect of our greater body of consciousness. The body is a physical representation of our individual consciousness, psyche, and the personality we know ourselves as. It is a collection of parts, roles, and an energetic system of information, past, present, and future. Any discomfort or disease in the body reflects an imbalance in the psyche. The best way to tend to the body is through the psyche.
With this understanding it is clear why some individuals choose to express any imbalance through mental or physical disease. Any symptoms are forms of communication and for our benefit.
I realize that for some this may be a completely new way of thinking about the body, health, and well-being. If you are reading this then you are ready to expand your consciousness, and you will be guided to test this understanding for yourself from where you are and what you know.
For more information about the complete process of self-realization, the physical, emotional, spiritual, and mental aspects of our being, and the 64 lessons we come to master in life, read A Guide to Self-Realization.
Defining Disease & Health
As the physical expression of our consciousness our mind and body will bring our attention to parts of ourselves that need attention through disease, discomfort, or illness. Disease is anything that lets us know the body is not in perfect balance. Disease in general is healthy, it is part of all the cooperative interactions that takes place that makes the physical expression possible, and for most part our body will do all the work for us as it maintains optimal health and balance in the same way it manages our breath and heartbeat.
When our body lets us know that it is struggling to do the work it is because we are interfering with its ability to heal in some way. It is only when it becomes extreme that the body or mind will manifest symptoms to bring our conscious attention to it. Now, when this happens it is up to us to respond in the most beneficial way possible to assist the body in its process. Some of us have been conditioned to do the opposite, even if we do not realize it, by reinforcing the state.
Health is the natural state of the body. It is what the body is designed to be, and it will always work for our greatest health, balance, and well-being in every way. Our responsibility is to support this state of health in every way we can through our every belief, thought, word, action, feeling, emotion, intention, and response.
How to Respond to Disease or Discomfort
When our body reaches a state where there is an imbalance that is significant enough it will alert us to it through symptoms. Symptoms are the way our individual cells come together cooperatively to communicate to the rest of the body that is wants support.
Symbolically the disease or discomfort is reflected in the most appropriate place for us. This means that where and how disease manifest is highly subjective phenomenon based on our own experience, beliefs, body of information, and ultimately our unique destiny and purpose.
The simplest way to understand and interpret the body’s communication through symptoms is to see the part that is diseased, in pain, or discomfort as a part of our psyche that is literally asking for love.
Our conscious mind may not have any idea which part of us this is, but we can still respond to it. We do this through our belief, thought, word, action, feeling, emotion, intention, and response.
Here is the format for communicating back to your body:
“Thank you for coming together to communicate with me body. Thank you for helping me learn and grow so that I can expand my consciousness in every way I can. Thank you for choosing this way to help me learn. I believe that we are one system and that as you work for my optimal health and well-being I now too will work for our collective health and well-being. Please continue to guide me in any way you can as I learn.”
“I see now that this beautiful body is one aspect of my consciousness expressing itself creatively. I now choose thoughts that bring new awareness and expanded perspectives. I want to love every part of me. I choose to fill every part of me with love in every way I can. Thank you that I can grow in love in every way every day. I now fill this part _______ of me with love in every way I can.”
“I touch this part _______ with loving hands and thoughts. I feel the love I choose to bring into my body through my conscious awareness. I now touch this part and breathe love into it. Thank you that I can breathe love into every part of me. I will take any actions I can that will empower my health and well-being in every way I can. I trust that I am guided in every way in the most beneficial ways possible. If I need the help or support of anyone, including those I believe are professional representatives for health, I will reach out to them, as symbolic representations to help me as I work through my own learning process.”
“I love the part of me that is diseased, in pain or discomfort. I love the part of me that is feeling______. Thank you that we can use this means to help me learn higher truth about the nature of consciousness and its physical expression. I love every part of me.”
“I love every part of me in every way. I am filling every part of me with love in every way through my intention to now be healthy, balanced, and well in every way. I now clear any psychological debris that I may have placed as obstacles or defenses to radiant perfect health.”
“As I am learning to expand my ability to fill myself with love, I will continue to repeat this process, embrace new beliefs, thoughts, actions, feelings, emotions, intentions, and empowered responses.”
“I love the part of me that is diseased, in pain or discomfort. I love the part of me that is feeling______. I love the parts of me that are communicating directly with me to bring health, balance, and well-being. Thank you to every part of me.”
“I fill every part of me with the highest frequencies of love, truth, and light. Bless me in every way, bless my every belief, thought, word, action, feeling, emotion, intention, and response with the highest frequencies in every way.”
Expanding our Consciousness and Healing
Expanding our consciousness and our ability to bring love into every aspect of our consciousness, including our body, is a gradual process. We can heal any part of our physical body through this process. The effectiveness relies on our intent, intensity, belief, and consistency.
The above affirmative words, thoughts, and actions can be repeated as often as possible. They are especially powerful before going to sleep, when we wake up during the night, and first thing in the morning. You can literally repeat them non-stop the whole day long.
As long as we release any contradicting beliefs, thoughts, or actions, our consciousness and body will respond to the new input, it cannot be otherwise. Depending on the part and type of disease or discomfort the healing time can vary. Realize that disease will only ever remain present, or return, if it is for our benefit, if there is still more that we can learn.
Learning through the body and disease is just one way we can learn to master our lessons and go through the process of psychological integration.
For more information about the complete process of self-realization, the physical, emotional, spiritual, and mental aspects of our being, and the 64 lessons we come to master in life, read A Guide to Self-Realization.
Most of us on earth have been conditioned to avoid pain, discomfort, adversity, and suffering. Entire industries are the evidence for this, including some of the most well-funded organizations and those that focus on victimization. There is a distinct difference between suffering and the tension of transformation. The truth is that change is the process of transformation, and transformation for many comes through the tension that inspires the desire for growth. Many individuals are being held back from growth because of a lack of understanding that leads to dysfunctional relationships, governments, and organizations. This article is inspired by my own experiences and the individuals I see who are unhappy because they struggle to embrace the things that would lead to their growth and happiness.
The tension of transformation vs. suffering
With a clear understanding of the gifts that inspire change we learn that we have a choice to either embrace the tension, or suffer the tension that life brings our way. Everyone experiences the tension because of the type of world we are in, it comes with the current territory. In by 2100 now things will be very different, but we get there because of our willingness to be open to new possibilities for change and growth. Our choice is to either go with the flow with what life presents to us for our growth, and embrace the process of transformation, allowing it to be the wind in our sails, or resist it and suffer pain, unhappiness and unfulfilling lives.
Suffering is a mental state of victimization, where we either perceive ourselves or someone else as a victim. This leads to stagnation, co-dependence, and reacting out if fear. Dysfunctional relationships are most often caused by the fear of being the source of the tension for transformation for someone else. The tension of transformation is the expansive mental state where we choose to master our challenges and respond to adversity like it is an opportunity for expanding our consciousness, and improving our lives and the world around us.
The spectrum of tension of transformation
Below is a framework for understanding how the tension of transformation manifests in our lives through the 9 energy centers (chakras). Remember every challenging thought, situation, experience, relationship, and idea is for our personal development. Life is a uniquely subjective experience based on our own life experiences, genetic and astrological design, purpose, and desires.
At the core of our existence as human beings we are faced with the dilemma of survival, stability, and safety. The part of us that sees ourselves as a separate individualized being suffers the illusion of aloneness, a body in a big world. The part of us that knows we are an energy being sees itself as an interconnected part of a web of energy. For most of us the tension of transformation in the root center evolves around expanding our understanding of what we are, and thus simply requires us to expand our understanding of energy and how it functions.
Confidence in our ability to survive and feel safe in this world comes from knowing in every part of our being that we are more than a separate body. There are a number of avenues we can take to expand our knowing, depending on our current conditioning which makes some ideas more acceptable than others, these can include studying quantum physics, psychology, self-realization, scriptures, past life regressions, out of body experiences, psychic phenomena, channeling, and any related subjects. The sincere study of these fields with an open heart and mind with the intention to expand our consciousness leads to the deeper understanding of what energy is, how it works, what we are, what this world is, and how to reach a state of self-fulfillment.
It is very important to realize that due to conditioning, fear, and limiting beliefs many of us will experience the tension of transformation as the resistance to some new or even old ideas. Do not let it stop you, you are meant to transcend this kind of limitation. Open your mind, study everything and trust that your deeper self is intelligent and intuitive enough to find the golden thread that leads you to your own inner truth. The process of expanding your mind is the process of integrating new ideas and knowledge holistically. Trust your own intuition as to which avenues to take based on what your feel curious about. Inside of you is a vast intelligent being that has the experience and knowledge to walk your own path to self-fulfillment and receive all the evidence you need to feel completely safe and secure in this world, no matter what others say or what us going on around you.
My inner truth:
Our fears are our gateways to expanding our consciousness, attaining self-fulfillment, being empowered, and living the kind of life we deeply desire. Through my own personal trials, I faced the fear of the unknown, fear of rejection, fear of conflict, addictions, extreme sensitivity to stress, profound emotional immaturity due to dysfunctional upbringing, and feeling lost, confused, and alone. Even with guiding inner visions and some profound experiences throughout my life I still suffered in the fog of fear until I dedicated enough time, focus, and energy to filling my consciousness with expansive ideas that opened my mind to new possibilities. Through years of study, commitment to my own growth, and determination to be happy I went through a process of radical transformation. Today, based on my own evidence and experience, I can say that we live in a world created by minds for our own experience, that is why I call it a game. Energy is conscious, consciousness is the universal substance, and it is programmable at all levels, which means that our experience reflects the mental conditioning we received throughout our lives, and only we can update our programming through the process of expanding our minds and growing in awareness through the integration of new information, habits, and experiences that serve our well-being.Read The Spectrum of Spirit Consciousness to understand how everything fits together in this world of energy and what we are, what this world is, and why you are always safe, loved and protected.
Sacral: Sensuality, Sexuality, Emotion
The tension of transformation in the sacral center comes predominantly from the experience of emotions. Some individuals are more sensitive than others. Emotions are fields of information that move through our energetic system. Emotions are central to the human experience on earth and each individual’s biofield consist of an emotional body where emotional information is stored electromagnetically.
The tension of transformation in the sacral center will come from developing emotional freedom: unraveling our beliefs around emotions, what happened in the past, and learning how to understand emotions as energetic information so they are not taken personally.
Traumatic emotional experiences start while we are in the womb (we experience what our mothers experience) and continue during our early years, and they can remain unresolved into adulthood and even old age which leads to unfulfilling lives. Any adverse emotional reaction we experience now is an emotional trigger that originated in the past. These stagnant energies are also the cause of most illnesses and adverse events, not just depression. Illnesses are the body’s way of getting our attention in order to catalyze the process of healing. Through awareness, mindfulness, and compassion these emotional wounds can be healed and cleared so that our emotional body is healthy, and we feel confident and empowered. This process does not require years of therapy, but simply the intention to face our vulnerabilities and use any process or healing modality that appeals to us. The way we respond to a current emotional experience affects our past, present and future.
My inner truth:
This was by far the most challenging experience for me because emotions are so intense, and they can override our sense of logic and reason. The way I learned how to work through this was as follows: Whenever I experienced an emotional trigger, uncomfortable experience, distressing thoughts etc. I would immediately become super aware, use my breath in the moment to calm myself, and give myself some time to respond. I made myself consciously aware of what was going on by objectively and honestly speaking to myself compassionately about what I feel and think, and then I would make the time to process the feelings and thoughts consciously so that it changed the way I thought and felt about the experience. The process included the following: Understanding how the past affects current experiences, the desire to heal my emotional body, compassionate self-talk, writing letters, journaling, lots of affirmations, mantras, setting boundaries, creating new beliefs, asking my subconscious / whole self for help, meeting my needs (past or present), and making the changes in my life and habits that reflected my new awareness. Every time we have an adverse emotional experience it is an invitation from our self to heal and integrate the hurt and fearful parts of ourselves. It takes some practice and time, but once we recognize the patterns and make the conscious effort to work through the experiences, we learn to love the process of healing because of the way we feel about ourselves, others, and the world – this is emotional freedom.
Navel: Creativity, Life Force, Desire
The tension of transformation in the navel center comes mostly from our desires. Desires are the fuel that drive life, they can therefore drive us either upwards to higher frequencies, or lower into dark states if despair and addiction. Mastering our desires are central to evolving our consciousness in every way. Our desires can fuel our creativity which is the highest expression of our being that can lead us to self-fulfillment and higher purpose. Read Mastering Desire – Resting the Mind and Senses.
My inner truth:
Mastering my desires was the key to taking my personal growth to a much higher level. It was not until I was willing to examine every habit and change things that were not serving me that I could see and experience higher frequencies. This was a gradual process for me that started about 12 years ago. Eventually I changed nearly all my daily habits and created the life I wanted to live. The strangest part about this process was that it required me to realize I was in incompatible relationships, with myself, personal relationships, and with work. Many of the people did not like the changes I wanted to make or made. The beautiful part of the process is that I could discover my authentic self, the person I love, regardless of what others think or say. It can be very challenging giving up habits that give some comfort like addictions. The most important thing I realized here is that every time I gave something up it was like I reclaimed power I was unknowingly giving away. This empowered me to use the new and available energy towards greater endeavors.
Solar Plexus: Willpower, Confidence, Self-Assurance
The tension if transformation in the solar plexus comes from the experiences that develop our willpower, strength of character, confidence, and self-assurance. The development of our will is the dominant factor that allows our consciousness to move beyond the separated victim egocentric self. To discover our authentic self we face every part of ourselves, every fear, every wound, every shadow. Through this process we develop healthy boundaries and self-respect that turns into appreciation that allows us to develop self-love and move into higher frequencies that open our hearts.
My inner truth:
Taking responsibility for everything in my life allowed me to move beyond a victim mindset and start the journey of dreaming, setting goals, making the decisions, taking the actions, and manifesting the life I love to live. When we start new things it is like a rough sketch, and only through practice and consistent effort do we refine our skills and abilities that turn into excellence. My art is the craft that allowed me to develop the willpower I needed to feel confident enough to face the more challenging personal quests. I highly recommend any craft, habit, or hobby that you enjoy that will allow you to develop confidence. Developing confidence and self-assurance through perseverance is a skill we can transfer to other areas of our lives. The most challenging aspects for me here was discovering my boundaries, and setting healthy boundaries with the universe, myself, and others. Setting boundaries comes from the tension of transformation and setting boundaries also creates tension for transformation, within ourselves and for others. Through this difficulty I learned to trust what really belongs in my life and what doesn’t. It taught me what the gift of detachment is really about.
Heart: Connection, Compassion, Universal Love
The tension of transformation in the heart center comes predominantly from developing self-love and transcending limiting ideas, perspectives, experiences, and beliefs of love. Intimacy is something far beyond sexuality and emotions. Intimacy is the frequency of love that connects our personality to our inner-self, that connects to our higher self, that connects us to our spark of the source of life and all consciousness. Consciousness is the universal substance that permeates absolutely everything, at every scale. Everything is conscious and responds to love. Through the expansion of our consciousness, we discover the true nature of everything, and this is the gradual process that opens our hearts to everything. Compassion is the byproduct of this process and universal love is the outcome. Self-love is the process of cultivating intimacy with ourselves. Self-love is the beginning of this journey and self-compassion is the method for expanding our awareness by sincerely opening our minds and hearts to new possibilities for love.
My inner truth:
The entire concept of self-love was unknown to me until my late thirties. My conditioned mind was overly critical, judgmental, and highly defensive. I isolated myself from the world and others out of fear because of the poor relationship skills I had, and the emotional immaturity I was unaware of. The only way I could transcend this was with daily habits, affirmations, mantras, positive self-talk, and a huge amount of self-compassion. Self-love is an art. Once I developed sufficient sincere self-love my frequency was high enough that my heart and mind could open to the spectrum of love that allows me to integrate new awareness holistically.
Thyroid: Transformation, Hormones, Metabolism
The tension of transformation in the thyroid center comes predominantly from balancing our feminine and masculine polarity and expressions in harmony with the body we are incarnated in. Our hormones are a two-way street, they affect everything we experience and everything we do affects them. It is vital for each gender to express themselves optimally in order to be healthy, feel good, and capable of achieving self-fulfillment. When our hormones are unbalanced, we will not have the desire or willpower to embrace the tension of transformation. Our intention with any action and activity determines whether it is a feminine or masculine expression, regardless of our gender. Read more about The Spectrum of Gender – Feminine and Masculine expressions for hormonal balance.
My inner truth:
Most women today are masculine in their polarity, and we have no idea of the damage this is creating on all levels of society. Women are the ones who have to lead the masculine into a world of peace and love, and we cannot do this when our hormones are unbalanced because we will simply be incapable of expressing the higher frequencies of love. I come from generations of masculine women, so I had no idea what was going on. It was only through gradual progression and spiritual guidance that I discovered that I had completely disowned my femininity. Developing my authentic self naturally led to a lifestyle where I was expressing more and more of my femininity, and the more I learned to relax and do things that I love the happier I became. Women need the freedom to live every day intuitively, doing things that we love, and doing things in a loving way. This is a profound journey of transformation and change that affects everything we do, every thought, word, feeling, emotion, and intention.
Throat: Communication, Expression, Authenticity
The tension of transformation in the throat center comes predominantly from the discovery and the courage to fulfill our life purpose. People most often want to know what their life purpose is, and the funny thing is that we all have the same purpose – to share spirit awareness through our unique vehicle. Our life purpose and destinies are the natural expression of our true authentic self. We may be gifted with all kinds of talents, skills, and abilities, but it is only when we put them in service of our higher self that they become enchanting. Self-fulfillment is the goal of every life, and all tension of transformation is designed to strip away everything we don’t need that allows for the unveiling of our inner truth, authentic self, and our authentic self-expression.
My inner truth:
I loved drawing from a really young age and through the tension of transformation life orchestrated that I attend art school. Art turned into design, and I spent my late teens till 42 years of age working as a freelance designer for countless individuals and organizations. During my early 30s I started feeling like I wanted to do something more, but I had no idea where to start. Then I had a vision of a large geometric drawing that changed my life. The vision prompted me to start studying everything I could with a whole new intention. I wanted to know everything about geometry and how it related to every aspect of life. It took years of studying and drawing to realize there was a fundamental structure that repeated itself over and over in everything at every scale. This is how the Intuitive Geometry method was developed. The Intuitive Geometry art and designs are my authentic expressions of my inner truth, and the way I see and share the highest frequencies of spirit, truth, love, and light. Each human contains a seed for this kind of authentic expression of higher truth. It is a process of discovering our natural talents and following our authentic joy that provides enough enthusiasm for the refinement that leads to beautiful authentic expressions that we love.
Eye: Vision, Imagination, Visualization
The tension of transformation in the eye center comes predominantly from expanding our perspectives, and using our imagination to create new things and the life we want to life. This process requires us to contemplate life so that we can integrate our lessons and wisdom. When we retreat from the external world periodically we allow ourselves to integrate awareness, and provide the receptive state for our higher self to fill our being with more of our light that reveals new possibilities to us. The challenge here is to give up the outer world and look within.
My inner truth:
Spending so much time alone naturally allowed me to cultivate my ability to contemplate and reflect. Without the space to process life I don’t think we can expand our consciousness beyond a certain degree. Most people are simply absorbed in the distractions if the mundane world. I was determined to be happy and willing to do whatever it took to discover how. This led to a profound inner journey of discovery. I know now what is possible when we believe we can live a life we love, and this is something I wish for everyone to discover, it is magical.
Crown: Knowledge, Self-Realization, Spirituality
The tension of transformation in the crown center comes from filling ourselves every day in every way with the highest frequencies if truth, love, and light. This is the process of transformation and takes commitment, devotion, perseverance, discipline, intention, sincerity, integrity, trust, intuition, willingness, an open mind, and heart. In order to live in the frequencies of joy and bliss every day requires us to clear our energetic system and environment from all interference. It is here that life can be experienced as the dream it truly is.
My inner truth:
I did not know what bliss was until I started devoting every day in every way to my higher self. Bliss is a state of deep peace, stillness, divine relaxation, inner joy, and unconditional love all experienced at the same time. Once I started tapping into this frequency of being there was nowhere else I would rather be, and it requires nothing outside of myself. This state of being is our truly natural state and I believe it is possible for anyone to achieve.
Each individual has a unique feminine and masculine profile to balance. The feminine and masculine are poles of the psyche within our consciousness.
Our bodies are biological computers governed by universal laws and dynamics, including the law of polarity and gender. The male and female bodies are biologically different, and they require different chemicals and expressions to be in balance and harmony. As a guideline the female body generally requires 10x plus feminine expressions for balance and harmony. Female expressions generate estrogen and oxytocin. The male body requires 10x plus masculine expressions for balance and harmony. Male expressions generate testosterone. Depending on our intention and attitude our behavior is expressing predominantly feminine or masculine energy. To discover our intentions we have to ask why, repeatedly, in order to get to the core of our motivation.
Hormones like estrogen and testosterone are chemical messengers within the body that travel through the bloodstream to tissues, and organs. Body chemistry is a two way street because we can affect it through our behavior, and it also affects our behavior. Without understanding our hormones we can easily get lost in taking life too personal. Hormone production is the result of the combination of the conditioning we receive, our lifestyle, the food we eat, exercise habits, our thoughts, and the emotions we experience.
Female and male bodies produce mostly the same hormones, but to different degrees at different times, and ages. For optimal health, well-being, self-love, fulfillment, self-realization, transformation, and chemistry a female body requires about 10 times as much estrogen as a male body, and a male body at least 10 times as much testosterone as a female body. A majority of the current issues in society, relationships, and individuals can be seen in hormone imbalances, for example depression is caused by high testosterone in females, and high estrogen in males. Excessive psychological, emotional or physical stress lowers estrogen in females, and lowers testosterone in males.
Each individual body has a unique balance of feminine and masculine energy. Our unique polarity profile is created at conception, and then through the relationship our caregivers have with themselves and those around us, and then it follows a biological pattern as we age to allow for the reproduction of more bodies.
When two individuals come together in a relationship they are attracted (or repulsed) based on their polarity profiles that fit together like a puzzle. The chemistry created between two individuals depends on the dominant energy they are expressing regardless of the actual gender of the body. What happens in many relationships is that two unbalanced polarities come together, and, or the relationship becomes unfulfilling when the polarity profiles change due to habits, conditioning, life changes, the environment or circumstances. If the polarity profiles are no longer compatible then the individuals will no longer be attracted to each other physically, emotionally or sexually, and in the extreme case they repel each other. Read Understanding Spiritual Development and the Quality of Relationships.
Due to cultural and other influences spanning several generations we are currently going through a phase on earth where woman are expressing excessive masculine energy. This pattern has created a large percentage of woman who are predominately masculine in their energetic expression, and men who are now predominately feminine in their expression. While these have created all kinds of new relationship dynamics it does not bring authentic inner harmony or true fulfillment because the body and its needs are not in harmony with our biological vehicles or the universal laws that govern this world.
It is therefore important to understand this dynamic to avoid gender confusion, learn how how to honor the body we are born into in our current life, and create harmonious and long lasting relationships. It is the feminine’s opportunity to be in her femininity, in order to allow the masculine to be in his masculinity, so that he can provide the safe space for her femininity to blossom.
Below is a framework for understanding feminine and masculine expressions for hormonal balance. Each individual has to determine for themselves what their intention and attitude is in every situation, aspect, and experience of their life in order to understand their own polarity profile. Once we are aware of our dominant energetic expression we can adjust it by changing the way we think and act, often with profound results.
Relationship Orientated < > Goal Orientated
Harmony & Balance
The feminine power is her desire and ability to be relationship orientated. She has the power to create harmony and balance in any relationship through the manifestation of her femininity, which is like a web of love. To be relationship orientated means she is able to choose harmony and higher love above self interest in any situation because she knows it makes her feel good. In terms of self-love the feminine make choices that prioritizes her relationship with herself, and this creates the environment where love can manifest, which means that when she can create a space for herself to feel loving it creates a space where others can feel her love. Any activity we do can either be done because it achieves some goal or because it enhances the relationship with ourselves and others.
The masculine power is his ability to be goal orientated. His innate gifts enables him to look for solutions, be analytical, independent, powerful, and assertive. He has the desire and power to create harmony and balance in any situation by being goal orientated because it makes him feel successful. His ability to achieve goals fuels his self-esteem and empowers him to aspire higher. In terms of self-love the masculine uses his desire for success to set goals to achieve greater harmony and balance within himself. His ability to achieve these goals within himself empowers him to reflect his self-assurance, confidence, competence, courage, and independence that attracts everything he needs to him, including the appreciation, adoration, acceptance, trust, and love he needs and desires. Any activity we do can be done with the intention to achieve a goal, it is a matter of perspective.
Emotional < > Detached
Empathy & Compassion
The feminine is naturally emphatic, she can feel into herself, and she can feel into others. This exceptional power is her the ability to listen to herself and others through her whole body so she knows what is needed in any situation. To manifest this power she has to embrace all emotions with compassion and love with the intention to understand them as sources of information. The power of empathy and compassion is the power that draws to her what she needs and desires most, those who will provide a space for her to feel safe to feel. In terms of self-love it is with herself that she learns how to feel empathy and compassion, first for herself, and then for others. Empathy and compassion are natural abilities that need to be developed and practiced like a skill in order to become more powerful. When she is in her feminine power she will know that what the masculine needs is her femininity, her love, acceptance, understanding, compassion, truth, and appreciation for his masculinity and its expressions. Any activity we do can be done with the intention to feel it, or to express a feeling.
The masculine is innately detached because this gives him a greater perspective in order to see with greater clarity. This exceptional power is his ability to process information in order to analyze, understand, solve problems, access inner truth, and create win-win solutions. The ability to process information in a detached way empowers him to be much more compassionate and understanding, and fuels his ability to be a leader and lead himself and others towards greater success. In terms of self-love it is his ability to be detached from emotions that allows him to set goals that are for his greatest benefit. It is the masculine power to lead both himself and others towards greater harmony and balance because he can see the bigger picture, determine the best solutions, and prioritize solutions that will have the greatest benefit. Any activity we do can be used as an opportunity to learn and grow in understanding.
Nurturing < > Problem Solver
Wisdom & Inner Truth
The feminine nature is the nurturer, it stimulates her female hormones and makes her feel good, increasing her desire to be more nurturing. When she is nurturing her body accesses its innate wisdom it would not otherwise have access to. When she is nurturing to others she will access all her other gifts intuitively, and she will be able to feel blissful. In terms of self-love it is her task to provide nurturing for her own feminine self first because it is the only way to unlock her wisdom and inner truth. Any activity we do can be done with the intention to provide nurturing to ourselves or others, or to simply solve a problem. This attitude has a profound effect on the experience and results of anything we do, and say.
The masculine nature is the problem solver, it stimulates his male hormones and it makes him feel good, with the desire to do more. When he is solving problems his body accesses inner truth that would not otherwise be accessible. When he is solving problems for himself and others he is accessing all his other gifts, to be analytical, courageous, competitive, competent, assertive, independent, accountable, and powerful. In terms of self-love it is his task to solve his own problems first because it unlocks his ability to access greater wisdom, inner truth, and find better solutions for more complex problems. Any activity we do can be done with the intention to solve a problem because it is a matter of perspective. This attitude empowers the masculine to see life form his unique perspective, understand patterns, integrate knowledge in a holistic manner, and feel successful in every situation.
Vulnerable < > Courageous
The feminine is open and receptive to energy which makes her vulnerable and sensitive. It is her ability to embrace her vulnerability that opens her to receive information, feelings, emotions, intuitive knowledge, and experience deeper love, harmony, empathy, and compassion. Because of the delicate nature of the feminine it requires her to set healthy boundaries with herself first and with others in order to feel safe enough to be open and vulnerable. In terms of self-love her healthy boundaries are created with love to provide a space for her to feel herself, and feel the universe as it communicates with her in every way every day through feelings and intuitive awareness. Any activity we do can be done with an open heart and mind that allows us to be receptive to the whole experience.
The masculine is responsive to energy which allows him to take action, and this makes him courageous. It is his ability to embrace his courageous nature that will make him feel successful, powerful, independent, confident and assertive. In order for his courage to be of the greatest benefit to himself and others he learns how to create healthy boundaries. In terms of self-love he needs to have the courage to create healthy boundaries to guide him in living a life that makes him feel successful. Any activity we do can be done with courage because we are not fearful of learning about ourselves, others, and life.
Interdependent < > Independent
The feminine is innately interdependent because she has the capacity to feel into herself and others through her empathy and intuition. When she is aware of her power she knows what is going on within herself and for those around her. For her to be interdependent she cannot see herself or anyone else as a victim because a victim mentality makes her codependent. In terms of self-love it is her ability to recognize the interdependent nature of life and her relationship to the universe that empowers her to allow her femininity and the gifts that come with it. Her interdependence allows her to take responsibility for her thoughts, feelings, actions, and the role that the feminine has in relationships and the world. Any activity we do can be done with the intention to enhance our interdependence.
The masculine is innately independent because it allows him to take action. His independence gives him the ability to be detached, solve problems, be courageous, competitive, analytical, assertive, competent, goal orientated and accountable. For him to be independent he cannot see himself or anyone else as a victim because a victim mentality makes him codependent. In terms of self-love it is his ability to embrace his instinctive desire to be independent that empowers him to allow his masculinity and the gifts that come with it. His independence allows him to take responsibility for his thoughts, feelings, actions, and the role that the masculine has in relationships and the world. Any activity can be done with the intention to enhance our independence.
Trusting < > Confident
Higher Truth & Self-Realization
The feminine’s access to emphatic and intuitive knowledge empowers her to trust life and every experience that comes to her because she will know why it is there, what she is learning, and how to respond in any situation. As she grows in trust and faith she is able to access higher truth and remember what we are and why we are here because she will be in an interdependent relationship with life that provides her with the feedback and evidence she needs to grow in trust. In terms of self-love the feminine first learns to trust herself and her feelings, and then to trust life, and as she regains complete trust she realizes she is walking the path of self-realization, fulfillment, and higher love. Life is intended for our fulfillment, but it requires our active participation to take us there, and for the feminine this process is embodied in trust. Any activity can be done with an attitude of trust, and this not only affects the activities we choose to engage in, but also the consequences of those activities.
The masculine’s ability to act, analyze and solve problems empowers his confidence to embrace every experience that comes to him because he will know why it is there, what he is learning, and how to respond in any situation. As he grows in confidence he is able to access higher truth and remember what we are and why we are here because he will feel empowered, successful, and competent. In terms of self-love the masculine first learns to be confident with himself and his abilities by recognizing and appreciating his confidence, and then becomes more confident in how he engages the world and those around him. As he regains his confidence in himself he realizes he is walking the path of self-realization, fulfillment, and higher love. Life is intended for our fulfillment, but it requires our active participation to take us there, and for the masculine this process is embodied in confidence. Any activity can be done with an attitude of confidence, and this not only affects the activities we choose to engage in, but also the consequences of those activities.
Cooperative < > Competitive
The feminine is naturally cooperative because it stimulates her feminine hormones that make her feel good. It is only through her cooperation that she can feel safe, loved, and protected. In terms of self-love it is her cooperation with her self, her body, her feelings, thoughts, and intuition that allows her to embody the power of authentic and sincere femininity. Through her cooperation the feminine learns that to give it to receive, and to receive is to give. When she is in touch with her femininity and her feminine gifts she will naturally want to create win-win solutions because it feels good to her, and to others. Any activity can be done with the intention to cooperate and create win-win solutions that serve the individual and the relationship.
The masculine is naturally competitive because it stimulates his masculine hormones that makes him feel good. It is only through his competitive nature that he can feel successful, appreciated, trusted, accepted, and loved. In terms of self-love it is his ability to compete with himself that empowers him to take the actions needed to create the life and relationships he wants. Through his competitive nature he learns that to give is to receive, and to receive is to give. When he is in touch with his masculinity and his masculine gifts he will naturally want to create win-win solutions in all areas of his life, and the world, because it feels good to him, and to others. Any activity can be done with the intention to compete, make things better, and create win-win solutions that serve the individual and the relationship.
Loving < > Powerful
Inner Strength & Patience
The feminine naturally desires to give and receive love because it makes her feel good. She intuitively knows that life is a game of love and that we are consciously or subconsciously playing the game of seduction. It is her ability to embrace this desire for love that allows her to fully embody the feminine energy and reflect the beauty and grace of femininity. It is her love and open heart that gives her the inner strength and patience to follow her unique path to the fulfillment of her desires. In terms of self-love she has to learn to love the feminine and everything it entails in order to access her authentic self. Any activity can be done with an intention of love, and it has a profound effect on every thought, word, and action.
The masculine naturally desires to be and feel powerful because it makes him feel good. He instinctively knows that life is a game of power and that we are consciously or subconsciously playing the game of seduction. It is his ability to embrace this desire for power that allows him to fully embody the masculine energy and reflect the inner strength of masculinity. The inner strength of masculinity is so powerful that it is obvious to himself and those around him, and therefore does not need to be flaunted or proclaimed. It is this power that gives him the inner strength and patience to follow his unique path to the fulfillment of his desires. In terms of self-love he has to learn to love the masculine and everything that it entails in order to access his authentic self. Any activity can reflect our inner strength when we know we are powerful, and it has a profound effect on every thought, word, and action.
Responsive < > Accountable
Gratitude & Fulfillment
The feminine is open and receptive to energy which allows her to be responsive to thoughts, feelings, intentions, and actions. When the feminine is empowered she is grateful for life and the opportunities it brings to her to respond with love, kindness, grace, and trust because it makes her feel good. She becomes responsive when her intention is to find opportunities to appreciate and serve the well-being of everyone in her relationships because she knows this is how she feels fulfilled. In terms of self-love she first becomes responsive to herself, her feelings, thoughts, and intuitive guidance which allows her to respond to life as it guides her to embody her femininity. She realizes that her authentic fulfillment and happiness requires her to honor her femininity. Any activity can be done with the intention to respond positively and gracefully for the well-being of all concerned.
The masculine is powerful, courageous, analytical, competent, and assertive which allows him to be accountable and live with integrity. When the masculine is empowered he is grateful for his masculine powers and the opportunities life brings to him to respond with integrity, competence, and courage because it makes him feel good. He is accountable when his intention is to serve the well-being of everyone in his relationships because he knows this is how he feels fulfilled. In terms of self-love he first becomes accountable to himself, his feelings, thoughts, and logic which allows him to embrace his masculinity. He realizes that his authentic fulfillment and happiness requires him to honor his masculinity. Any activity can be done with integrity and the intention to be accountable for our actions.
Virtuous < > Competent
The feminine is sensitive to energy and therefore naturally able to use her empathy for discernment. It is her discernment that makes her virtuous and authentically empowers her femininity. In terms of self-love she can only empower herself by honoring her femininity and choosing to be virtuous. She realizes that her fulfillment and happiness requires her to practice moral excellence including being faithful, hopeful, honest, trustworthy, loyal, forgiving, compassionate, caring, considerate, and patient. Any activity can be done with virtuous intention.
The masculine is powerful and competent because he is independent, analytical, accountable, confident, and honorable. It is his competence that empowers him to be discerning. It is his discernment that recognizes his masculinity and the path to his authentic fulfillment and happiness. In terms of self-love he can only become competent by recognizing and appreciating his masculinity and what he is capable of. Any activity can be done with the intention to empower our competence.
Receptive < > Assertive
The feminine is receptive to the influence and effects of energy. When the feminine is empowered she allows herself to be open to receive, from herself, others, and the universe. In terms of self-love she is receptive to her feminine desires and universal guidance so she can give to herself what she needs to be happy and feel fulfilled. In relationships she is open to receive, and she gently encourages her receptivity by inviting others to participate in her happiness and fulfillment. She practices enlightened persistence in creating an open, loving and receptive environment through her appreciation. Any activity can be done with an attitude of gratitude that makes us receptive to feeling appreciation.
The masculine is naturally detached, analytical and direct in response to the effects of energy. When the masculine is empowered he becomes assertive in his actions, thoughts, and words. His transparency with himself and others allows his inner strength to fuel his persistence in creating happiness and fulfillment. In terms of self-love he claims his masculinity by being assertive with himself, his desires, and what he needs to be fulfilled and happy. In relationships he is open, transparent, and assertive in communication and action to create happiness and fulfillment. Any activity can be done with an assertive attitude that opens the way for greater harmony and balance, if that is our intention.
Intuitive < > Analytical
The feminine is intuitive and open to inner guidance from life’s intelligence because she is sensitive to feelings, sensations, ideas, and energy. Intuition is the way that life communicates with itself on all levels and it is therefore powerful in its ability to guide us in every way. When the feminine is empowered she trusts her intuitive guidance because she knows that life is guiding her on her path to authentic self-fulfillment. In terms of self-love she learns that in order to access her intuition she has to embrace her femininity, and that includes her authentic feminine needs for stillness, peace, love, harmony, and balance. Any activity can be done from an intuitive or analytical intention. Intuition does not require thought. When we are able to blend our feminine intuition with our analytical masculinity our creativity is greatly enhanced.
The masculine is analytical, and open to seeing the larger perspective, patterns, and information that guides us through life because he embraces simplicity, and is detached, courageous, competitive, powerful, assertive, goal orientated, and gifted in his ability to solve problems. When the masculine is empowered he trusts his logic and ability to lead himself and others to greater fulfillment and harmony. In terms of self-love he learns to appreciate his analytical mind and its power to guide him to embrace his masculinity. He realizes that his authentic fulfillment requires him to embrace his masculine needs that include being goal orientated, accountable, responsible, independent, detached, assertive, and competent. Any activity can be done based on analysis and logic. When we are able to blend our analytical masculinity with our feminine intuition our creativity is greatly enhanced.
Have you ever wondered why life is the way it is? Have you noticed the patterns and the cycles that keep repeating? Have you ever thought that something about life or yourself is fake? Did you ever wonder why we are obsessed with love? Do you wonder why we love games so much? Do you ever wonder why everything has a polarity? Do you wonder why fear seems illogical at time? Did you ever consider that life has no inherit meaning? Did you ever consider that life is a game of pretend and make beliefs?
The psychology of projection shows us that we are an actor to others, and play the movie director casting actors in roles in our own fantasy, created from childhood conditioning, fears, and desires. Read more about this in Life as a Game.
My experience taught me that we can learn to see the bigger picture, and play from a higher perspective that leads to emotional freedom, inner peace, authentic joy, and a deep sense of fulfillment.
When we are conceived there is an energetic signature as light combines. As we develop our being is conditioned by the energetic fields in the environment we are in. When we are born we come into a very specific set of energetic frequencies that form a part of our development as our physical bodies start to interact with the outside environment and relationships are formed.
Spectrum of Consciousness
Polarities form the basis of our existence, we can study the spectrum of light, and there is a set of parameters to all the things we can experience, feel, and see around us. We are each a full spectrum being, containing good and bad. Patterns exist everywhere and at all levels. Everything we do, think and say matters to the universe as it evolves through us. We have so much more power than we realize. We are at the edge of creation, creating.
From birth we begin to respond to the relationship our primary caregiver has with themselves. We will mirror and reflect how they feel about themselves. This provides us with core traits, fears, and desires that create the setup for our subjective game.
This initial setup is referred to as Attachment Theory in psychology. There are videos and other research available on the internet. Keep in mind that emotional needs are absolutely vital for survival, as we learned in studies where babies actually started dying when only their physical needs were met.
Insecure < > Secure < > Insecure
There are various classifications but in general there is a secure group and an insecure group (currently estimated to be 50% each in countries like the USA). Those who can form secure close attachments had their emotional needs met most of the time, feel they can trust others, and believe relationships are important and valuable.
The insecure group have developed relationship coping mechanisms in order to survive because they did not have their emotional needs met, do no feel safe, and do not trust to various degrees. The two extremes (about 25% each) are avoidant / dismissive and anxious. The two extremes do not know how to care for their own emotional well being. They come together in families and are attracted to each other in romantic relationships where they form dysfunctional and co-dependent dynamics. There is also a disorganized / disoriented classification.
Understanding this spectrum changed my life. We must understand that there is also an evolutionary purpose to this dynamic. In one study where they put a mixed group together in a room and then had smoke come out of a computer each group responded differently: The dismissive / avoidant left the room first without saying anything – these are the individuals who often bring new ideas into the world and dedicate their lives to achievement or excellence. The anxious group left the room next, but they first told some of the others there was a problem – these are often individuals who dedicate their lives to service. The securely attached individuals were the last to leave the room, some just following the others.
Our childhood conditioning provides us with the rest of the data that we will use to create our lives with. In order to fit into our family and the current culture we develop the relationship strategies and character traits that are approved of by our family and community, and we suppress, disown, reject or deny the parts of ourselves that our family/ community/ culture find less acceptable. These parts that are suppressed, disowned, rejected or denied will become the parts we see in others and the world until they are owned, accepted and embraced. To understand how this works study the psychology of projection, learn more about Emotional Well Being, and you can also read Life as a Game.
As we incarnate into this world we go through cycles of development and growth. For the first 7 years we experience the world primarily through our physical bodies, we absorb and explore.
We are literally in Theta brain wave state, and being programmed, like a form of hypnosis.
The second 7 year cycle is about emotional development and the third cycle is about intellectual development. The cycles then repeat throughout our lives.
For example, feeling powerless in any situation will remain with us for resolution. Anger masks fear and is a consequence of feeling powerless. Any experience during a cycle that we do not understand or that we are not able to integrate or resolve will remain in our system for resolution until the next opportunity or cycle.
The Psychology of Projection
What is in our mind will determine what we create, like a hard drive. This is why childhood conditioning is our toolbox with which we create, for better or worse, unless we consciously grow and expand our consciousness.
Images we see are desires and fears projected outward, and this is what we think we see, what we think is real and what we base our behavior on.
Everything we see is a projection from our mind. There is no objective reality. Everything we see reflects our own consciousness because we filter all information through our consciousness. This is the foundation of the psychology of projection, one of the primary tools that psychologists and therapists use today.
Everything we see in another is something we either acknowledge or suppress, reject, deny, or disown in ourselves. Anything someone else sees in us reflects their consciousness, otherwise they would not see it. Both positive and negative.
Shadow work is the conscious process to understand what we see in others, how it reflects us, and what we can learn from it. I believe all relationships are meant for this purpose. Everyone is here to teach us something about ourselves so that we can fully integrate our consciousness.
Every bit of unresolved emotional pattern that we reintegrate is like a piece of gold that we mine. All parts are equally valuable in terms of consciousness integration, good and bad, because they are not real in themselves, they are just the basis of perception that creates the game.
When we are attracted to someone this is a clear indicator that we can learn something with that person. Nothing is random. Attraction does not mean we are meant to be together or compatible. We are like molecules that fit together. Through greater awareness and shadow work we can truly liberate our relationships.
Opportunities for Resolution & Expansion
I believe that there is no inherit meaning in the world and that we use our free will to assign meaning. While we think up all kinds of reasons for the things we do, we are really nature evolving itself. We live our purpose every moment of every day because every thought, word and action is an act of creation that expands consciousness. In other words we are always living our purpose.
For expansion to occur the universe integrates and unifies.
Evolutionary biologists see the dynamics of species as they evolve and to them it is clear that humans are currently in our young adult years where we learn how to work together and form beneficial relationships with those around us because conflict is no longer efficient. This means that allot of what we are doing here is cleaning up, integrating, releasing and refining. We are really learning The Art of Self Love. The relationship with ourselves come first, that is really what it is about, the relationship we have with ourselves will be reflected back to us. When we get to know ourselves we develop appreciation for the skills and traits we have. A personalized I Ching profile and report can be a great starting point for self exploration.
Every single situation or experience is in truth for no other purpose than to purify our physical, emotional and mental bodies. Every experience contains a piece of gold. The people and situations in our life are not random, they cannot be because energy is magnetic, and what comes to us is for our evolutionary benefit. When we embrace this dynamic we no longer take everything personally and we can see life from a more holistic perspective.
Rules of the Game
There are principles, laws and rules to the game that are impersonal. These are laws that are fundamental to time/space physics and energy dynamics. Read The Rules of the Game for the whole list.
The path less traveled is the path to self fulfillment and self actualization.
There are two primary levels in the game, ego level and higher self level. All fears belong to the ego and are doorways to the higher self. The goal of the game is to clean our system so that we can host our higher self.
Nobody is a victim here, in any way. It is the victim mindset that we transcend when we learn to elevate ourselves above fearful reactions.
When we recognize that the source of all we have is life, that nothing really belongs to any of us it sets us free from worldly / material attachment which causes the experience of suffering.
Because perspectives and perceptions are learned we must learn to choose our beliefs and act accordingly.
Anything is possible when we believe wholeheartedly and act in harmony with life and our higher self.
While many still live in denial of our higher spiritual nature, it is only a matter of time because it is what this whole game is designed for. Once our system is purified, we have expanded sufficiently to become the host to our greater energetic self, and this presence is unmistakable. Once we are no longer value the ego and the material world above our spiritual nature we enter into a different level of the game. Everything is designed to push us towards opportunities that will allow for the greatest expansion. There is allot of information about mythology, archetypes, and the hero’s journey because it is such an integral part of the game. We find these themes repeating in our movies, games, and fantasies because we are living them ourselves even if we are not aware of it.
A call to adventure is an experience or situation that requires us to open our mind, face the unknown, our limiting beliefs and fears. A call to adventure starts with a catalyst, it can be any emotionally charged situation, and end or a beginning, or when our ego has been wounded. For example: a death, a birth, a new relationship, end of a relationship, a vision, a visitor, financial or other loss, an accident, an illness, trauma, and global or regional events like a pandemic. The event charge must be big enough that it creates an opening for new awareness.
Accepting the call is another story because there is free will we always have a choice. Due to conditioning many of us avoid or fear pain and suffering without realizing that it is just as important as the good stuff. Suffering is really a gift for transformation and growth. Being depressed or unhappy is a sign that you are ready to move to a higher level but are refusing consciously or unconsciously. We will be presented with opportunities all the time because it is what we are here for.
When we accept the call to expand, we enter a process of alchemy and transformation. This process is ongoing and unique for each of us. Through my own experience I have outlined the basic structure of the process. Read about the Process of Transformation.
The process of transformation is about moving from a frequency of fear to a frequency of love. The process includes a catalyst, a period of solitude, health and diet changes, a healthy environment, self-inquiry, expanding our perspective of life, releasing old thoughts, emotions and beliefs, learning self-love, growing in self awareness, regaining complete trust in life, inviting higher consciousness, experiencing inner peace, creating inner stillness, expanding our ability to experience gratitude and joy.
Personalized I Ching Profile & report
Take a look at the Personalized I Ching Profile and Reports that you can order on this website, it includes a large poster that you can print. The profile is based on astrology, and inspired by the I Ching, and systems based on the I Ching like Human Design, and the Gene Keys. The profile is a tool to get to know ourselves better. The I Ching is a wise book for contemplation based on binary (64 themes). Through this work we can expand our consciousness, integrate all aspects of ourselves and learn to trust life. Learn more about Self-Realization.
We can understand ourselves through 4 primary areas of development: Physical, Emotional, Spiritual, and Mental. Balance is achieved when these areas are in harmony with each other. Everything is about the relationship with our self. Read more about The Art of Self Love.
To integrate or unify our consciousness into a harmonious whole we must consider each aspect of our self. Within each of us we find the: instinctive self, tribal self, emotional self, rational self, achiever self, ecological self, integrated self, and holistic self. Each one of these selves has different needs and each is integrated into the next before holism is achieved.
Think of it as a playful road map of the self that we can use for the path of self-realization or self-fulfillment.
The Spectrum of the Self
This is us as the Liberator, and the highest manifestation is Love. The skills we develop are Willing (Affirmation) and Intuition (Intuiting). This is the field of Self-Love and Love of Others.
Instinctive self – Server: to help.
Tribal self – Nurtuer. to nurture.
This is us as the Actor, and the highest manifestation is Grace. The skills we develop are Feeling (Compassion) and Judging (Contemplation). This is the field of Integrated Psychology.
Emotional self – Sage: to train.
Rational self – Scholar: to learn.
This is us as the Inquirer, and the highest manifestation is Peace. The skills we develop are Prospecting (Investigation) and Sensing (Sensation). This is the field of Ecological Science.
Achiever self – Warrior: to achieve.
Ecological self – Priest/Priestess: to aspire.
This is us as the Creator, and the highest manifestation is Joy. The skills we develop are Observation (Observing) and Imagination (Concentration). This is the field of Arts and Culture.
Integrated self – King/Queen: to be a role model.
Holistic self – Higher Self: to create
Purpose is not a future goal; it is something we are doing in every single moment. Everything that comes into our space is there so that we can fulfill the purpose presented to us in the moment.
If we find ourselves in an unhappy place it is because we have not learned how to make ourselves happy. If we see things in the world or our life that we do not like, then it is because there are parts in ourselves that we are not in harmony with. For example, if your life is complicated then you have not integrated the part of you that loves simplicity. We all have all parts; we cannot deny parts of ourselves without feeling and seeing the consequences.
Painful experiences teach us about vulnerability and when we have tough experiences it often reflects a great unconscious desire to transcend the shadow frequency. Nothing is without reason; every moment has a purpose it fulfills. Fears are always gateways to higher awareness. When we stop seeing suffering as such, and choose to see the opportunity it brings then we do not suffer.
We are not the character/roles/personality, we are really the player. We can expand our consciousness to see the ebb and flow of events, with appreciation or compassion, but without losing ourselves in it.
We are like molecules that fit into each other. From a passing glimpse, a friendship to a romantic tale, they are the ones that we are magnetically attracted to. Attraction is something completely impersonal for the purpose of learning and evolution because everyone we come into contact with is seen through the filters of our own projections and mental filters.
If we can look at attraction as something designed for learning, to show us our shadow and to trigger unresolved emotional issues for resolution, then we can liberate our relationships.
Emotional immaturity is probably the greatest barrier to harmonious relationships. Unresolved issues that present themselves as emotional reactions break down the trust in a relationship because they are fear based.
In the earlier stages of new relationships the reality is often obscured, especially when we have conditioned relationship strategies based on insecure attachment. We mirror each other both consciously and unconsciously, in order for things to flow, and then as the relationship progresses we allow more of ourselves to be seen because we feel safe, and things we can’t hide indefinitely start to show, and so incompatibilities can take anything from a few weeks, months or years to show. We think people change but we just become more ourselves in relationships over time.
Integrity is the foundation of any authentic or emotionally mature relationship. A mature relationship respects the unique individual, and is found on trust and mutual understanding.
From a higher perspective we meet exactly the right people at the right time based on our current configuration in order to develop our spiritual self which requires awareness, release, and forgiveness.
The moment we start casting people into roles in our lives we get up to all kinds of interesting stories. We lose ourselves in make-believe-I-am-a-some-body, sometimes with hundreds of roles.
Ultimately psychological projection shows that we are an actor to others, and play the movie director casting actors in roles in our own fantasy, created from childhood conditioning, fears, and desires. Read more about it in Life as a game.
As a game of spiritual development with the goal of self-realization, self-fulfillment, and self-love nothing is ever random and there are people with whom we have bonds that go beyond any conscious human understanding.
The Spectrum of Relationships
The Spectrum of Relationships is a framework to understand the nature and purpose of different relationships in our lives. Our subjective human experience is an evolution of awareness so we are often not aware of our own situation or potential without seeing a larger picture. We often do now allow relationships to serve their purpose because we become entangled in beliefs and values we adopted from our society and culture. Fear prevents many people from moving on to better and more harmonious relationships because they are not aware that this is a primary feature of the design of the entire system of life.
When we trust life, focus on getting our lessons in every situation, listen to the feedback we get from life, master ourselves, master our desires, and take the necessary actions to achieve self-realization through our higher purpose and self-fulfillment we will allow our lives to unfold and continuously move into higher and higher frequencies.
The family that we are born into is not random at all. In most cases it will bring opposites come together in order to allow for the greatest expansion. A parent who cannot sit still will inevitably have a child who embodies stillness, or the father who is a major financial achiever will inevitable have a child who cannot or will not be a similar achiever.
Our families are probably the least compatible individuals we spend a significant amount of time with. Conditioning in this way allows for the greatest amount of diversity and potential. It is very important that children are allowed to individuate. It requires some level of emotional maturity in the parents otherwise we end up with enmeshment, co-dependency and other unhealthy dynamics. Many people never become who they really are because they fear the loss of connection from their family. Many of us do not mature if our family are not emotionally mature, and maturing requires us to change the relationship we have with our family, sometimes we have to let go. The world needs people who see things differently, and are willing to do things differently.
Just being in the same space as someone else affects us in ways that we cannot always understand with our conscious mind because of projection and the exchange of energy that takes place. Just one meeting with someone that embodies a frequency we have never encountered will noticeably affect us. We can meet someone at an art exhibition or a gas station that deeply affects us. We just never forget some people because they represent some part in ourselves. Once we can see the world from a metaphysical perspective and understand the psychology of projection it is easier to grasp these encounters and their purpose in our lives.
Friendships have the potential to be the best type of relationship because they can be free from compulsions. Friendships can last from a few hours, days, or a lifetime. When a relationship is free from compulsion it has the greatest opportunity to teach us because we can be honest with each other, learn the most about ourselves, others, and the world. In a friendship we have the greatest amount of freedom to change and evolve as we focus on our own development.
Our deep desire for spiritual reunion (energetic reunion with our source) is the foundation of attraction. When the attraction is strong enough it can be an incredibly powerful force. Love is the foundation of this universe and we prove it to ourselves all the time. There are many different types of romantic relationships, from fantasy relationships, casual encounters, short term hookups, a few months, and then longer term relationships.
Romantic relationships are connections that focus predominately in the lower 4 chakras / energy centers (root, sacral, navel, and solar plexus). The only relationships that can be harmonious and long lasting include mutual growth and development towards self actualization which requires the relationship to move into the hear chakra and through to the higher chakras / energy centers (heart, thyroid, throat, eye, and crown), which makes it a soul mate or sacred partnership. The reason these higher chakra relationships are still in the minority is because romantic love is primarily associated with fulfilling basic needs like safety, stability, security, emotional experiences, desires, sexual and physically intimate experiences, ego gratification, self-esteem, and other pleasure based experiences. In general these are superficial ego based romances that are for reproduction. These can be short or long, troubled, intense and commonly involve children. Read Understanding Spiritual Development and the Quality of Relationships.
Most romantic relationships are individuals who come together because their trauma bonds are compatible. These are relationships that come to help us heal unresolved emotional trauma. They are not always healthy relationships, often inauthentic (even unconsciously), codependent, and often have a similar dynamic we had with our parents, especially if we have a difficult relationship with one parent. Once we become aware of how our past affects our current relationships, do the work to heal our emotional body, and learn to distinguish between healthy and unhealthy love, then our relationship template is updated and we will attract healthier partners into our lives. Sometimes some people come into our lives simply so that we can say no, I have learned the lesson.
Karmic Relationships are relationships between individuals that are for the purpose of manifesting karma and situations to resolve emotional trauma. This means that these relationships cannot and will not evolve past the 4 lower charkas / energy centers (root, sacral, navel, and solar plexus). Trauma bonds, as mentioned above, will be present along with incompatibility and general disharmony. What sets a karmic relationship apart from other relationship types is that there will be a lack of unconditional love, and they can be extremely difficult to detach from because most people have allot of unresolved emotional trauma from just living in the current world. Read Understanding Spiritual Development and the Quality of Relationships.
These relationships are energetic bonds created with our root, sacral, navel, and solar plexus energy centers / chakras which makes them very intense (or later very boring), compulsive, and we often loose our unique identity in these relationships because their presence requires a lack of development in the solar plexus center which governs our will, self-confidence, and self-assurance.
Trauma bonds are very deep energetic blocks in our energy field, and in order to free ourselves from these bonds we have to integrate allot of unconscious information. Transcending these relationships requires us to do emotional body work, some form of therapy, gain deeper psychological self-awareness, and become self-empowered. This is why so many people get stuck in these relationships.
Think of individuals who are in unhealthy relationships with their parents, or a couple who cannot seem to let go of their passionate but troubled relationship no matter what they do. Karmic relationships can often be associated with violence and aggression because they are triggering deep immature emotional energy.
It can be dangerous to continue in these relationships once the universe has presented opportunities for the individuals to move apart. Remaining in these relationships after the emotional triggers have occurred can affect everything in our lives, and everything we attempt to create. Once these relationships come to an end it is vital for the individuals to spend enough time on their own in order to process the lessons they learned, otherwise they will repeat the same lessons in the next relationship they get involved in.
Soul Mates are those soul connections that starts to open our hearts. They are connections that form in the lower 4 chakras / energy centers and into the heart center. They are meaningful bonds where a deeper authentic connection is possible when there is complementary compatibility and maturity.
In Soul Mate connections we we get to know our authentic self, our conditioning, and we learn what it means to experience greater degrees of unconditional love. They can still be a positive or negative experience depending on our attachment style, masculine and feminine balance, current energetic configuration, relationship template, and level of awareness.
These experiences are powerful drivers for the Process of transformation and shadow work because they teach us what we really want, and need in order to be self-empowered individuals. We are always provided with what we need to expand our consciousness, realize inner truth, and achieve self-fulfillment. Authentic Self-love is the highest vibration frequency in this world.
A true Sacred Partnership or Twin Flame connection is an uplifting, loving, compassionate, mature, and lasting relationship with a companion that is truly compatible on a physical, mental, emotional and spiritual level. These Sacred Partnerships are beyond romance even if they may contain it, and they are identified by the devotion of two individuals to their individual higher purpose and self-actualization. Read Understanding Spiritual Development and the Quality of Relationships.
These connections have the possibility of connecting through all 9 chakras / energy centers: root, sacral, navel, solar plexus, heart, thyroid, throat, eye, and crown. This type of relationship is only possible when the lower 4 chakras / energy centers are coherent, and the emotional body has been healed to a great extent. These relationships are recognized by the unconditional love that is present because these individuals have balanced their masculine and feminine aspects within themselves, developed self-love, and unconditional love within themselves which they can now share. Because the heart connection is present it allows the individuals to continue to do their personal transformation for self-actualization in a safe space. In these relationships nothing is hidden and we are continuously expressing our authentic self and our needs. These relationships are for individuals who are consciously realizing inner truth, developing their intuition and higher abilities, self-actualizing, and growing in their spiritual connection to all of life.
The easiest way to distinguish these relationships is that they are harmonious 95% of the time and they will not be focused on issues relating to safety, security, emotions, lower frequency desires, sexuality, and self-assurance because these individuals have already worked through the issues relating to the lower chakras and their lives, and lifestyle will be the evidence for it.
Holy Relationships & Twin Flames
In some cases the universe will bring together two individuals who are each other’s extreme opposite, black and white, to such a degree that they are not compatible for any other relationship but a holy one intended for spiritual liberation, shadow work, and unconditional love. A holy relationship serves the collective by bringing two individuals together for energy exchange and awareness so that they can balance the masculine and feminine aspects within themselves, and then with each other. These two individuals will have a magnetic attraction, but can exhibit polar opposite traits, habits, values, beliefs, and they can dislike many things about each other initially. This energetic dynamic may be obscured initially through projection or it may not, but time will reveal the purpose of the relationship.
The defining factor for a holy relationships is that the two individuals can develop a spiritual bond that transcends both friendship and romance, even if they may include it at various stages, and that can last for the rest of their lives. It is important not to confuse a holy relationship with a sacred partnership which is a relationship based on compatibility and complementary traits, habits, values, and beliefs. Read Understanding Spiritual Development and the Quality of Relationships.
Animal Companions have always played a significant role in human relationships and they still do. For many people, specifically those with insecure attachment, it is vital for their survival because animals, and especially dogs, channel source energy without much resistance. This means that the animal becomes a source of unconditional love and acceptance. Animals can play a similar mirroring role that humans do where they can teach us about our conditioning, and that is why we often see some similarities between the human and their animal companion. The relationship also creates a safe space where we can develop certain skills required for holistic development and personal growth such as the capacity for intimacy, trust, and unconditional love. Animal companions can also help humans regulate their nervous system, be mindful, and balance their hormones. One of the greatest gifts of an animal companion is the ability to do inner child work together.
Spiritual relationships play different roles in various cultures and can vary greatly due to the individual subjective experience of life, conditioning, and the innate abilities each human vehicle has and can develop. The most significant aspect of this relationship is that it has the ability to create a secure relationship for an individual and allow them to develop trust, intuitive abilities, understanding, insight and unconditional love. This relationship can be with an imaginary friend, an ancient spiritual master, a god, gods, spiritual guides, ancestors, thought forms, and other energetic beings that inhabit different dimensions including the collective unconscious. With these relationships the purpose and benefit is more important than the type. These relationships can be both positive and negative, negative experiences are learning opportunities, usually to develop strength and awareness.
All things supernatural, energy forms, thought forms, aliens, spirits, and other worldly beings are all different forms of energy that exist in different dimensions. We can experience and see them depending on our own level of awareness. They are as we are, and subject to polarity to various degrees because we are all part of the manifested worlds. Consciousness is the source of all forms, beyond all of it, and beyond the polarity of good, and bad.
Spiritual Guide Relationships
Those who have expanded their consciousness and achieved coherence in all 9 energy centers (root, sacral, navel, solar plexus, heart, thyroid, throat, eye, and crown) are a special gift to the world and those individuals who come into contact with them. Ultimately they make us aware of our own potential and inspire us to expand our own consciousness. Our experience of a Spiritual Guide varies depending on our own current level of awareness.
As we dissolve the unnecessary through the Process of transformation and the tension for transformation we open our vehicle to greater love frequencies, and embody our higher self or soul consciousness. Through the process of self-love, self-knowing, self-realization, self-actualization, and self-fulfillment we no longer see ourselves as the character or roles. When we are no longer attached to our personality we can see and experience life, and love, from a metaphysical perspective. In this state of unconditional love, love it is all around us, felt in everything and we see the beauty and truth in everyone.
We are all capable of living in love. It is a process of inner alchemy and purification.
This article is an overview of my personal perspective on the human transformation process that is based on my own experience. While each of us have a unique path for our life, the path to higher love has certain ingredients. These elements of liberation have been communicated through time in many ways. We have always been guided towards a life of greater joy, but fear will misinterpret and obscure the truth from us until we are ready.
A catalyst can be any emotionally charged situation.
A death, a birth, a new relationship, end of a relationship, a vision, a visitor, financial or other loss, global or regional events like a pandemic. The event charge must be big enough that it creates an opening for new awareness. Suffering is really a gift, it is the tension for transformation.
We can learn to recognize these events, big ones and smaller ones. You will recognize it by the intensity of the emotions and / or the amount of energy used to think about it. They are like quests and your emotional body is your guide. Here it is important to reaffirm our inner knowing that absolutely everything that comes into our space is there for a reason, and that everything is always for our benefit, no matter how it may appear on the surface.
2. A Period of Solitude
Everyone needs alone time. This is a single player game. We need time to reflect and understand if we want to continue to grow.
So even if we cannot spend significant time in solitude we can still make space by setting boundaries and committing to the process. This really also ties in with a healthy environment. If we do not have sufficient space to reflect and contemplate we cannot expand our awareness. If our environment is filled with unhealthy and co-dependent patterns we will not be able to do the inner work. The ideal is at least some periods of solitude, or a few months. In some books I have read about 6 months, in others 7 years. It should be a simple, down to earth lifestyle, where we can focus on our inner world. The people that we engage with during this period should be caring and kind. Our intuition is our best guide.
The thing is that if it is our time to do this work then we will be given the opportunity for it, even if we need to learn boundaries first. So trust your own journey and work with whatever is currently available to you.
My inner truth: I think the results will be determined by the commitment and detachment we have to the process. I lived in solitude for many years, I isolated myself because I was not happy with the relationships I was capable of having. I never met anyone I thought would understand me, and I had very low self esteem with no/rigid boundaries, co-dependent habits, enmeshment trauma and emotionally immaturity. I had no idea what was going on or who I really was. I actually gave up and simply decided I was determined to figure out how to be complete and happy by myself. I poured myself into studying, Intuitive Geometry, building a self-sufficient home, growing a food forest, changing habits, and learning how to do things that made me feel peace and joy. I have made incredible changes and simplified my life to a surprising degree. It is a fascinating and ongoing process. What makes us unconditionally happy is unique for each individual. I believe it is through our authenticity and embracing our uniqueness that we can create a life that we love.I also believe that it is only through being authentic that we can create harmonious interdependent relationships.
3. Health & Diet
If our body or diet is unhealthy then this will be a vital part of the process. In order to expand our consciousness we use the body as a learning tool because our body and our relationship to food is symbolic for the relationship with our whole self and expanding our ability to obtain nourishment from higher frequencies. Taking care of ourselves affects every part of our being and consciousness. Health, diet, and exercise are important in the process of embracing the tension for transformation, mastering our desires, and balancing our feminine and masculine hormones and expressions.
Food should be light and fresh with lots of herbs if possible. I can recommend a predominantly liquid diet, it has revolutionized the way I see, prepare, and consume food. Intermittent fasting (once a week, once a month, and restricting food to a 7 hour window during the day) really boosts the process and it also has significant psychological benefits. I do not advocate any particular type of exercise, just some movements or stretches performed daily, even if it is just for 20 minutes is a good start because it allows energy to move through the body.
4. Healthy Environment
A healthy environment is one that is free from damaging habits and relationships.
The environment must not reinforce old conditioning. It must be as free from outside influence as much as possible so that we can really get to know ourselves. For example: co-dependent relationships, relationships with unresolved conflict, guilt, shame, damaging addictions etc. The environment should ideally be calm, in or close to nature, free from heavy pollutants etc.
There are layers to our self. We peel away the layers of fear that prevent us from being authentic.
The value of knowing ourselves has been passed down through time. When we do not know who we are, we are essentially living a fake life. This part of the process requires time to reflect and understand. We rewire our brains when we choose to look at ourselves objectively, find the lessons we learned in life and discover the wisdom that we want to share.
First we come to understand our self as an ego, our character and the roles we play. We deeper our understanding, expand our consciousness with an open mind and integrate all of our self. Through this process we come to realize ourselves as a higher self. The more love we grow inside ourselves the greater our awareness of our spirit self and the more intimate with life we become. With great clarity we can see the patterns that make up the experience we call life.
6. Expanded perspective
While self-inquiry is a process of understanding and logic, an expanded perspective is about an open mind and the unknown. It is about looking at everything, considering absolutely everything with an open mind. Allowing ourselves to be completely free to interpret, understand and imagine.
What we are doing during this phase is expanding our consciousness to a holistic level.
As we grow in our understanding and acceptance we learn to forgive ourselves and others.
This release is part of emotional transmutation. Emotional transmutation is the process of releasing ourselves from bottled up emotions, childhood conditioning and compulsive behavior. Basically all emotional baggage is released bit by bit. For many people this may mean allot of crying, exercising, and other creative activities. Read about Emotional Well being.
Self-love is learning to understand our self to the degree that we integrate and love all parts of our consciousness. Through compassion we really grow to love both the good and bad, our uniqueness and ourselves as a part of nature, and a spiritual being. We learn to love life and grow in universal acceptance. Self-love is the essential ingredient in balancing our feminine and masculine expressions.
9. Growing awareness
Here we really start tapping into our intuition and higher purpose. We learn to be in flow with life, live in the present and allow the universe to work through us.
10. Regaining complete trust
Through our commitment and growing awareness we learn to trust life.
As we deeper our relationship with life we regain complete trust and so enter into a much more refined frequency.
11. Inviting higher consciousness
This part of the process can happen at any given stage and is ongoing. There is no end to the divine joy and peace we can experience. Every day becomes an opportunity to invite higher love. When we engage with life and the source of life on an intimate level life itself responds powerfully. This is really about allowing life to be magical.
Every part of the process is about becoming more peaceful within ourselves. A peaceful heart and mind creates a peaceful life. Ultimate peace comes from trusting life, feeling loved and cared for by life.
While we can know peace stillness can be elusive. Stillness is really about opening ourselves up to all of life and letting it flow through us without interference. There are so many ways we can become still and meditate. Initially we find bits of stillness and as we develop our ability to connect with the source of life we expand our ability to love stillness. Stillness is magic.
Gratitude is something we learn to practice. Initially it may be fleeting experiences or conscious activities like writing in a gratitude journal. The more we invite gratitude into our life, the more it permeates our consciousness. Eventually gratitude is our baseline attitude. We feel more and more grateful for every moment of existence and everything life offers us.
15. Joy &Bliss
When we start to swirl in an aura of universal love and gratitude we live in a state of joyful bliss. Bliss is a state of deep peace, stillness, divine relaxation, inner joy, and unconditional love all experienced at the same time.
True intimacy is taking another as yourself, loving them as yourself. That is why self-love comes first. Only when we love ourselves unconditionally do we become capable of loving another in a clean aura of love.
Love is corrupted by fear. In a world where fear dominates, we are unable to discern between love and fear unless we raise our frequency into one of love. Through the frequency of fear love becomes guilt. When guilt is the foundation of any relationship it cannot be harmonious. Guilt creates a great deal of stress and leads to compulsive actions taken out of fear, in an attempt to cover up the underlying feelings of fear and guilt. Fear is the foundation of any co-dependent relationship.
When we do not love ourselves, we use people to project unresolved emotional patterns on. It cannot be otherwise because we are energy. Energy that continuously seeks balance and equilibrium. True intimacy sees no separation between you and the other. We can understand that everything is a relationship.
True intimacy can only exist in a field of love which is created through integrity and honesty.
Each of us are powerful creative beings, which means that just one party in a relationship has to create through a frequency of fear in order to affect the entire relationship. Every single thought, word and action is either taken from a frequency of love or fear, every creative act has a charge, which means nothing is neutral. That is why honesty is an integral part of unconditional love and acceptance.
Like attracts like, fear can bring people together just as much as love can. In so many cases it is fear of intimacy, fear of rejection and fear of lack that bring people together so that we can see in each other what we fear the most. It is only when we believe in a lack of love and see it as a scare commodity that it becomes an exclusive thing, that what you give to one person takes away from another and similar types of limiting beliefs.
Fear is not something of itself, even though we can witness its effects, fundamentally it is just a lack of love, it is a perception of lack of love. Fear is a belief in what is false. It is fear and love that repel each other. That is why when we do shadow work and clean our system, our relationships change, sometimes dramatically. These fears show us the limiting beliefs that need to be resolved to move our frequency higher.
The only thing we ever really have to accept and understand is that we can only change ourselves. The deep learning is that we cannot take responsibility for anyone else. Free will is the power we each wield. Nobody is a victim, ever. Every decision is a choice between love and fear.
Fear creates confusion and self-doubt because it does not contain the ingredients for love. We are continuously receiving feedback from the universe through our feelings. When we learn to embrace and understand our feelings, we can use them to guide us to love.
Our evolution is a revolution of relationships. It is a revolution of love. A revolution that starts within. We transform our inner relationship with love, which is what affects our world and society.
Intimacy and pure love are the foundation of all existence because love is the frequency that creates eternally without interference. Wholesome love it is the most natural thing for us to do, but as we travel through cycles, we will inevitably find ourselves at a point where we build entire cultures out of fear and structure societies in resistance to love.
The love I am talking about is a higher love. The ability to love people deeply. To love life deeply.
The ability to see the best in everyone and fall in love with that spirit is a love that is free of quilt and shame. It is a love that gives. This is a universal love that is based on mutual respect, interdependency, transparency, and higher purpose. It is a mature love and requires emotional maturity of all parties involved, that is why it is part of our evolution.
Every decision, that means every thought, word or action is a choice between fear and love. When you live this truth, it changes everything. This is what our intuition is for, once we learn to trust it then we always know the right way to go in every situation. The right way being the one that leads to greater love and joy. We are made for joy. That is why our pleasures can be so irresistible. There is an important distinction between following sense pleasures and following our unconditional joy. They lead in opposite directions. The one believes itself a body and the other something greater with potential.
The path of integrity is a conscious choice that is made when the consciousness is ready. The first step is always that we start to care for ourselves better. We start by changing the relationship we have on the inside, one decision at a time.
We continuously draw the right people into our lives at the right time, magnetically we will draw a match that will push us higher to learn. When you live it consciously it can really feel like a game. Where we want to go must be a conscious choice to love, every time. It gets easier over time.
We can dedicate our life to a higher purpose by allowing each situation to work for your benefit. This is the fastest path to raising our frequency, feeling lighter, loved and being filled with joy.
People will reflect the love we have for ourselves. This is what makes it so magical.
When we can see others as our energetic brothers and sisters we can love others for who they are because they exist in relationship to ourselves. Everyone can teach us about ourselves. Individually we are unique expressions of source energy. Together we are one expression of source consciousness. We are like the rays of the sun, we can never be apart. This is the truth of who we are.