Others reflect the love we give to ourselves, prove it to yourself. We can only care for another’s emotional well-being when we know how to care for our own. Honesty and acceptance allow us to open a secret door to our inner self. Intimacy is about seeing, feeling, hearing, understanding and knowing our authentic true self. Authentic Self love is the highest vibration frequency in this world. This means meeting our needs, and giving to ourselves what we would want someone else to give to us. Self sacrifice, and selfishness are the lower vibrations of self love.
The Languages of Self Love
Words of Self-affirmation
Encouragement, appreciation, empathy, honesty, listening to ourselves, focussing on our higher self. Showing ourselves compassion and speaking kindly to ourselves. Soothe ourselves during stressful times with positive statements and affirming truths. Daily use of Personal affirmations – listening, writing, reading, speaking, chanting, and singing. Journaling to understand one self, recognize our gifts, heal, and grow.
Gifts of Self-Love
Cultivating self awareness. Thoughtful gifts and gestures from the heart, and with expressions of gratitude. Gifts that nourish our mind, body, soul and spirit. Recognizing all the gifts we receive by just being alive, recognizing that the source of all we have is life, nothing really belongs to any of us. This sets us free. Being grateful to life is receiving a gift, it fills us. Investing in ourselves. Making our thoughts our best friends. Recognizing our efforts and being open to feedback for growth. Having patience with our own growth. Relaxing and taking time to enjoy just being.
Acts of Self-Service
Action phrases that affirm positive beliefs, supports growth, releases grievances. Doing what is in our best interest and for the highest benefit of all. Meeting our needs in healthy ways. Meeting our emotional needs. Developing talents and interests. Making our physical and emotional well being our priority and our responsibility to the greatest degree possible. Following our authentic joy. Being authentic. Cultivating higher aspirations for our life. Facing our pain, healing the past and opening our hearts. Saying No. Saying no to co-dependency and yes to interdependency. Setting and maintaining healthy boundaries. Living a higher purpose. Friendship. Living with positive intentions and empowering others. Balance in giving and receiving support.
Uninterrupted and focused conversations, writing, journaling, using a diary, recording, prayer, any one-on-one time with ourselves. Stillness is quality time. Meditation. Contemplation and introspection. Self-inquiry. Creative expression. Honoring ourselves, our feelings, and our needs. Doing something special or unusual for ourselves. Reading or watching uplifting content. Time in Nature. Rest, recovery, and sleep.
Being Present in our Body
Non-verbal expressions such as touch, cuddling, stroking, massage, moving meditations, acts of self-care, long baths, warm shower, spa, exercise, hygiene, grooming, pampering, masturbating, tantra, yoga, dancing, qigong etc. Learning to trust our body’s inner wisdom. Paying attention to ourselves, our feelings, our thoughts, and being mindful.
The Spectrum of the Self
This is us as the Liberator, and the highest manifestation is Love. The skills we develop are Intuition (Intuiting) and Willing (Affirming). This is the field of Self-Love and Love of Others.
Instinctive self – Server: to help.
Tribal self – Nurtuer. to nurture.
This is us as the Actor, and the highest manifestation is Grace. The skills we develop are Judging (Contemplation) and Feeling (Compassion). This is the field of Integrated Psychology.
Emotional self – Sage: to train.
Rational self – Scholar: to learn.
This is us as the Inquirer, and the highest manifestation is Peace. The skills we develop are Prospecting (Investigation) and Sensing (Sensation). This is the field of Ecological Science.
Achiever self – Warrior: to achieve.
Ecological self – Priest/Priestess: to aspire.
This is us as the Creator, and the highest manifestation is Joy. The skills we develop are Observation (Observing) and Imagination (Concentration). This is the field of Arts and Culture.