An empowered individual is optimistic and chooses to live with a growth mind set that is open for continuous expansion. When someone owns their power, they have gained in their level of self-awareness to a degree that they feel empowered and capable. An individual that is empowered does not have a fearful or distrusting relationship with themselves or life. Scientific, religious, academic, and spiritual endeavor all really share the intention of cultivating trust in ourselves, or the system.
So why do we disown our power?
Attachment Styles & Conditioning
Fear has a powerful influence on our behavior. A small percentage of people are estimated to become emotionally mature adults in our current stage of evolution. Currently only about 50% of the population in a country like the USA have a secure attachment style. The rest are spending a significant amount of time in fear. Fearful people feel powerless on some level, about something, or many things. Powerlessness is something that can set in the first 7 years of life when we are in a Theta brain wave state and programmed by our environment.
We are energy or spirit embodied. In this embodiment there is a set of defined mechanics that govern the world, like day and night, the seasons, and larger solar cycles. Our lives, our civilizations, economies, and social systems go through cycles. Think of it like a game setup, while the characters are free to do what they want we are still running on a system with a set of parameters, with smaller and larger cycles, like a holographic fractal. That is why psychological projection is the foundation of our experience. The world we see with our eyes is not the true reality, we live in a multidimensional field of consciousness.
There are psychological patterns that define human experience like any of the cycles in nature. We embody a spectrum of consciousness that is defined by polarities, happy and sad, angry, and peaceful, etc. True peace lies in integrating all polarities and being free from attachment while being able to enjoy a prosperous life. That is why an ancient binary system like the I Ching is so fascinating in the study of nature’s cycles and human consciousness. Introspection and contemplation are powerful tools in gaining greater self awareness.
How do we reclaim our Power?
When we take life personal, we see ourselves as separate from others. We imagine ourselves a body and a victim in a scary world, that we see evidence for, but never question that our perception may be based on our beliefs. It is only our thoughts that can scare us, but what if nobody ever tells us that?
When we expand our consciousness, we start to integrate suppressed, disowned, denied, and rejected parts of our consciousness. This is where transformation, emotional well being, spirituality, therapy, and psychology all come together. We get to a stage where we can choose to, and can consciously integrate our seemingly good and bad aspects, and learn to live in a state of greater inner harmony, universal acceptance, and love. Becoming emotionally mature is a part of evolution, a part of the game design. When we cultivate this state of awareness we no longer judge ourselves or others because we always choose to understand from a more holistic perspective. As we integrate ourselves, we can see spirit and the game for what it is and see the joy, and beauty that was hidden in the thought fog.
Acceptance, Self-Love & Authentic Power
Authentic power comes from Self-love. Self-Love starts with acceptance, self-care and understanding our self, objectively, which requires commitment, compassion, and forgiveness. When we are self-aware, we trust our intuition, we trust how we will respond to life and thus feel secure inside without the need for external security. Once we know how to give ourselves these core stability gifts, we can and want to give it to others too.
Our universal human purpose is to achieve this level of the game, to embody the higher self, and then encourage others to empower themselves. We can learn to embody a much greater flow of energy and live an authentic life where we feel fulfilled because it is designed that way. Each life is unique and always relative to the subjective journey and experience of the individual. Trust is the vital ingredient in the quest called life.
Assess your life and current relationships for authentic joy and honesty – clean relationships up in the most suitable way and create healthy boundaries.
Let go of all grievances.
Do more things, more of the time that you enjoy. Discover things that brings you inner peace, authentic joy, a sense of well being or contentment.
Encourage yourself no matter what.
Learn to trust life, yourself, and your intuition.
Make decisions from your higher self perspective so that you are in harmony with life, and thus your unique design and life path.
There is a school of Hindu philosophy called Advaita Vedanta, a form of self-inquiry, which is about 2800 years old, that explains the world is mind-based (Maya – Sanskrit: “magic” or “illusion”), a projection, and that the goal is self-realization, to know ourselves as the source, as the divine presence. The modern equivalent is called self-actualization in psychology. I became interested in this subject because of my experiences. Advaita Vedanta is a path to inner peace and liberation.
Have you ever wondered why life is the way it is? Have you noticed the patterns and the cycles that keep repeating? Have you ever thought that something about life or yourself is fake? Did you ever wonder why we are obsessed with love? Do you wonder why we love games so much? Do you ever wonder why everything has a polarity? Do you wonder why fear seems illogical at time? Did you ever consider that life has no inherit meaning? Did you ever consider that life is a game of pretend and make beliefs?
The psychology of projection shows us that we are an actor to others, and play the movie director casting actors in roles in our own fantasy, created from childhood conditioning, fears, and desires. Read more about this in Life as a Game.
My experience taught me that we can learn to see the bigger picture, and play from a higher perspective that leads to emotional freedom, inner peace, authentic joy, and a deep sense of fulfillment.
When we are conceived there is an energetic signature as light combines. As we develop our being is conditioned by the energetic fields in the environment we are in. When we are born we come into a very specific set of energetic frequencies that form a part of our development as our physical bodies start to interact with the outside environment and relationships are formed.
Spectrum of Consciousness
Polarities form the basis of our existence, we can study the spectrum of light, and there is a set of parameters to all the things we can experience, feel, and see around us. We are each a full spectrum being, containing good and bad. Patterns exist everywhere and at all levels. Everything we do, think and say matters to the universe as it evolves through us. We have so much more power than we realize. We are at the edge of creation, creating.
From birth we begin to respond to the relationship our primary caregiver has with themselves. We will mirror and reflect how they feel about themselves. This provides us with core traits, fears, and desires that create the setup for our subjective game.
This initial setup is referred to as Attachment Theory in psychology. There are videos and other research available on the internet. Keep in mind that emotional needs are absolutely vital for survival, as we learned in studies where babies actually started dying when only their physical needs were met.
Insecure < > Secure < > Insecure
There are various classifications but in general there is a secure group and an insecure group (currently estimated to be 50% each in countries like the USA). Those who can form secure close attachments had their emotional needs met most of the time, feel they can trust others, and believe relationships are important and valuable.
The insecure group have developed relationship coping mechanisms in order to survive because they did not have their emotional needs met, do no feel safe, and do not trust to various degrees. The two extremes (about 25% each) are avoidant / dismissive and anxious. The two extremes do not know how to care for their own emotional well being. They come together in families and are attracted to each other in romantic relationships where they form dysfunctional and co-dependent dynamics. There is also a disorganized / disoriented classification.
Understanding this spectrum changed my life. We must understand that there is also an evolutionary purpose to this dynamic. In one study where they put a mixed group together in a room and then had smoke come out of a computer each group responded differently: The dismissive / avoidant left the room first without saying anything – these are the individuals who often bring new ideas into the world and dedicate their lives to achievement or excellence. The anxious group left the room next, but they first told some of the others there was a problem – these are often individuals who dedicate their lives to service. The securely attached individuals were the last to leave the room, some just following the others.
Our childhood conditioning provides us with the rest of the data that we will use to create our lives with. In order to fit into our family and the current culture we develop the relationship strategies and character traits that are approved of by our family and community, and we suppress, disown, reject or deny the parts of ourselves that our family/ community/ culture find less acceptable. These parts that are suppressed, disowned, rejected or denied will become the parts we see in others and the world until they are owned, accepted and embraced. To understand how this works study the psychology of projection, learn more about Emotional Well Being, and you can also read Life as a Game.
As we incarnate into this world we go through cycles of development and growth. For the first 7 years we experience the world primarily through our physical bodies, we absorb and explore.
We are literally in Theta brain wave state, and being programmed, like a form of hypnosis.
The second 7 year cycle is about emotional development and the third cycle is about intellectual development. The cycles then repeat throughout our lives.
For example, feeling powerless in any situation will remain with us for resolution. Anger masks fear and is a consequence of feeling powerless. Any experience during a cycle that we do not understand or that we are not able to integrate or resolve will remain in our system for resolution until the next opportunity or cycle.
The Psychology of Projection
What is in our mind will determine what we create, like a hard drive. This is why childhood conditioning is our toolbox with which we create, for better or worse, unless we consciously grow and expand our consciousness.
Images we see are desires and fears projected outward, and this is what we think we see, what we think is real and what we base our behavior on.
Everything we see is a projection from our mind. There is no objective reality. Everything we see reflects our own consciousness because we filter all information through our consciousness. This is the foundation of the psychology of projection, one of the primary tools that psychologists and therapists use today.
Everything we see in another is something we either acknowledge or suppress, reject, deny, or disown in ourselves. Anything someone else sees in us reflects their consciousness, otherwise they would not see it. Both positive and negative.
Shadow work is the conscious process to understand what we see in others, how it reflects us, and what we can learn from it. I believe all relationships are meant for this purpose. Everyone is here to teach us something about ourselves so that we can fully integrate our consciousness.
Every bit of unresolved emotional pattern that we reintegrate is like a piece of gold that we mine. All parts are equally valuable in terms of consciousness integration, good and bad, because they are not real in themselves, they are just the basis of perception that creates the game.
When we are attracted to someone this is a clear indicator that we can learn something with that person. Nothing is random. Attraction does not mean we are meant to be together or compatible. We are like molecules that fit together. Through greater awareness and shadow work we can truly liberate our relationships.
Opportunities for Resolution & Expansion
I believe that there is no inherit meaning in the world and that we use our free will to assign meaning. While we think up all kinds of reasons for the things we do, we are really nature evolving itself. We live our purpose every moment of every day because every thought, word and action is an act of creation that expands consciousness. In other words we are always living our purpose.
For expansion to occur the universe integrates and unifies.
Evolutionary biologists see the dynamics of species as they evolve and to them it is clear that humans are currently in our young adult years where we learn how to work together and form beneficial relationships with those around us because conflict is no longer efficient. This means that allot of what we are doing here is cleaning up, integrating, releasing and refining. We are really learning The Art of Self Love. The relationship with ourselves come first, that is really what it is about, the relationship we have with ourselves will be reflected back to us. When we get to know ourselves we develop appreciation for the skills and traits we have. A personalized I Ching profile and report can be a great starting point for self exploration.
Every single situation or experience is in truth for no other purpose than to purify our physical, emotional and mental bodies. Every experience contains a piece of gold. The people and situations in our life are not random, they cannot be because energy is magnetic, and what comes to us is for our evolutionary benefit. When we embrace this dynamic we no longer take everything personally and we can see life from a more holistic perspective.
Rules of the Game
There are principles, laws and rules to the game that are impersonal. These are laws that are fundamental to time/space physics and energy dynamics. Read The Rules of the Game for the whole list.
The path less traveled is the path to self fulfillment and self actualization.
There are two primary levels in the game, ego level and higher self level. All fears belong to the ego and are doorways to the higher self. The goal of the game is to clean our system so that we can host our higher self.
Nobody is a victim here, in any way. It is the victim mindset that we transcend when we learn to elevate ourselves above fearful reactions.
When we recognize that the source of all we have is life, that nothing really belongs to any of us it sets us free from worldly / material attachment which causes the experience of suffering.
Because perspectives and perceptions are learned we must learn to choose our beliefs and act accordingly.
Anything is possible when we believe wholeheartedly and act in harmony with life and our higher self.
While many still live in denial of our higher spiritual nature, it is only a matter of time because it is what this whole game is designed for. Once our system is purified, we have expanded sufficiently to become the host to our greater energetic self, and this presence is unmistakable. Once we are no longer value the ego and the material world above our spiritual nature we enter into a different level of the game. Everything is designed to push us towards opportunities that will allow for the greatest expansion. There is allot of information about mythology, archetypes, and the hero’s journey because it is such an integral part of the game. We find these themes repeating in our movies, games, and fantasies because we are living them ourselves even if we are not aware of it.
A call to adventure is an experience or situation that requires us to open our mind, face the unknown, our limiting beliefs and fears. A call to adventure starts with a catalyst, it can be any emotionally charged situation, and end or a beginning, or when our ego has been wounded. For example: a death, a birth, a new relationship, end of a relationship, a vision, a visitor, financial or other loss, an accident, an illness, trauma, and global or regional events like a pandemic. The event charge must be big enough that it creates an opening for new awareness.
Accepting the call is another story because there is free will we always have a choice. Due to conditioning many of us avoid or fear pain and suffering without realizing that it is just as important as the good stuff. Suffering is really a gift for transformation and growth. Being depressed or unhappy is a sign that you are ready to move to a higher level but are refusing consciously or unconsciously. We will be presented with opportunities all the time because it is what we are here for.
When we accept the call to expand, we enter a process of alchemy and transformation. This process is ongoing and unique for each of us. Through my own experience I have outlined the basic structure of the process. Read about the Process of Transformation.
The process of transformation is about moving from a frequency of fear to a frequency of love. The process includes a catalyst, a period of solitude, health and diet changes, a healthy environment, self-inquiry, expanding our perspective of life, releasing old thoughts, emotions and beliefs, learning self-love, growing in self awareness, regaining complete trust in life, inviting higher consciousness, experiencing inner peace, creating inner stillness, expanding our ability to experience gratitude and joy.
Personalized I Ching Profile & report
Take a look at the Personalized I Ching Profile and Reports that you can order on this website, it includes a large poster that you can print. The profile is based on astrology, and inspired by the I Ching, and systems based on the I Ching like Human Design, and the Gene Keys. The profile is a tool to get to know ourselves better. The I Ching is a wise book for contemplation based on binary (64 themes). Through this work we can expand our consciousness, integrate all aspects of ourselves and learn to trust life.
Others reflect the love we give to ourselves, prove it to yourself. We can only care for another’s emotional well-being when we know how to care for our own. Honesty and acceptance allow us to open a secret door to our inner self. Intimacy is about seeing, feeling, hearing, understanding and knowing our authentic true self. Authentic Self love is the highest vibration frequency in this world. This means meeting our needs, and giving to ourselves what we would want someone else to give to us. Self sacrifice, and selfishness are the lower vibrations of self love.
The Languages of Self Love
Words of Self-affirmation
Encouragement, appreciation, empathy, honesty, listening to ourselves, focussing on our higher self. Showing ourselves compassion and speaking kindly to ourselves. Soothe ourselves during stressful times with positive statements and affirming truths. Daily use of Personal affirmations – listening, writing, reading, speaking, chanting, and singing. Journaling to understand one self, recognize our gifts, heal, and grow.
Gifts of Self-Love
Cultivating self awareness. Thoughtful gifts and gestures from the heart, and with expressions of gratitude. Gifts that nourish our mind, body, soul and spirit. Recognizing all the gifts we receive by just being alive, recognizing that the source of all we have is life, nothing really belongs to any of us. This sets us free. Being grateful to life is receiving a gift, it fills us. Investing in ourselves. Making our thoughts our best friends. Recognizing our efforts and being open to feedback for growth. Having patience with our own growth. Relaxing and taking time to enjoy just being.
Acts of Self-Service
Action phrases that affirm positive beliefs, supports growth, releases grievances. Doing what is in our best interest and for the highest benefit of all. Meeting our needs in healthy ways. Meeting our emotional needs. Developing talents and interests. Making our physical and emotional well being our priority and our responsibility to the greatest degree possible. Following our authentic joy. Being authentic. Cultivating higher aspirations for our life. Facing our pain, healing the past and opening our hearts. Saying No. Saying no to co-dependency and yes to interdependency. Setting and maintaining healthy boundaries. Living a higher purpose. Friendship. Living with positive intentions and empowering others. Balance in giving and receiving support.
Uninterrupted and focused conversations, writing, journaling, using a diary, recording, prayer, any one-on-one time with ourselves. Stillness is quality time. Meditation. Contemplation and introspection. Self-inquiry. Creative expression. Honoring ourselves, our feelings, and our needs. Doing something special or unusual for ourselves. Reading or watching uplifting content. Time in Nature. Rest, recovery, and sleep.
Being Present in our Body
Non-verbal expressions such as touch, cuddling, stroking, massage, moving meditations, acts of self-care, long baths, warm shower, spa, exercise, hygiene, grooming, pampering, masturbating, tantra, yoga, dancing, qigong etc. Learning to trust our body’s inner wisdom. Paying attention to ourselves, our feelings, our thoughts, and being mindful.
This is us as the Actor, and the highest manifestation is Peace. The mind learns love through the ability to judge and forgive. Through contemplation we develop self awareness, compassion and acceptance for all the roles we play. With self awareness comes the ability to see the power we have to be who we want to be, regardless of the past, and we consciously choose to develop and play our best self in this life.
This is us as the Inquirer, and the highest manifestation is Grace. The body learns love through feeling and investigation. This is all about cultivating self awareness and developing trust in the intelligence of life and the body.
This is us as the Liberator, and the highest manifestation is Universal Love. Our spirit learns love through intuition and cultivating the use of our will to aspire to higher love.
This is us as the Creator, and the highest manifestation is Joy. Our soul learns love through our authentic joy, developing the use of our imagination, and expressing ourselves creatively.
The Spectrum of Self Love
Instinctive self – Server: to help. To balance, give unconditional love to yourself.
Tribal self – Artisan: to create. To balance, do creative things that you love.
Compulsive self – Sage: to entertain. To balance, learn to discipline yourself with love and compassion.
Rational self – Scholar: to learn. To balance, learn to love playing.
Achiever self – Warrior: to achieve. To balance, appreciate yourself.
Ecological self – Priest/Priestess: to inspire. To balance, aspire to universal love.
Integrated self – King/Queen: to be a role model. To balance, expand your idea of love.
Holistic self – Higher Self: to be. To balance, be love.
My life experiences have led me to conclude that life is a game, a game of spiritual transformation, and the name of the game is “Who do I think I am?” Read more about this idea in Life as a Game and The Transformation Process.
We are in a biological computer with 4 primary areas of development: Mind, Body, Soul, and Spirit. Balance is achieved when these areas are in harmony with each other. The soul and spirit are the more subconscious aspects, while the mind and body are the more conscious aspects. Everything is about the relationship with our self. This is a single player game. Read more about The Art of Self Love.
This is us as the Actor, and the highest manifestation is Peace. The skills we develop are Judging (Contemplation) and Thinking (Compassion). This is the field of psychology.
This is us as the Inquirer, and the highest manifestation is Grace. The skills we develop are Prospecting (Investigation) and Feeling (Intelligence). This is the field of sciences.
This is us as the Liberator, and the highest manifestation is Love. The skills we develop are Intuition (Intuiting) and Willing (Affirming). This is the field of spirituality and all about self-love.
This is us as the Creator, and the highest manifestation is Joy. The skills we develop are Observation (Creativity) and Imagination (Concentration). This is the field of art and culture.
To integrate or unify our consciousness into a harmonious whole we must consider each aspect of our self. Within each of us we find the: instinctive self, tribal self, compulsive self, rational self, achiever self, ecological self, integrated self, and holistic self. Each one of these selves has different needs and each is integrated into the next before holism is achieved.
Think of it as a playful road map of the self that we can use for the path of self-realization or self-fulfillment.
The spectrum of the self
Instinctive self – Server: to help. To balance, give unconditional service to others.
Tribal self – Artisan: to create. To balance, do creative projects.
Compulsive self – Sage: to entertain. To balance, learn discipline.
Rational self – Scholar: to learn. To balance, play more.
Achiever self – Warrior: to achieve. To balance, appreciate more.
Ecological self – Priest/Priestess: to inspire. To balance, aspire more.
Integrated self – King/Queen: to be a role model. To balance, expand consciousness.
Holistic self – Higher Self: to be. To balance, be still.
Purpose is not a future goal; it is something we are doing in every single moment. Everything that comes into our space is there so that we can fulfill the purpose presented to us in the moment.
If we find ourselves in an unhappy place it is because we have not learned how to make ourselves happy. If we see things in the world or our life that we do not like, then it is because there are parts in ourselves that we are not in harmony with. For example, if your life is complicated then you have not integrated the part of you that loves simplicity. We all have all parts; we cannot deny parts of ourselves without feeling and seeing the consequences.
Painful experiences teach us about vulnerability and when we have tough experiences it often reflects a great unconscious desire to transcend the shadow frequency. Nothing is without reason; every moment has a purpose it fulfills. Fears are always gateways to higher awareness. When we stop seeing suffering as such, and choose to see the opportunity it brings then we do not suffer.
We are not the character/roles/personality, we are really the player. We can expand our consciousness to see the ebb and flow of events, with appreciation or compassion, but without losing ourselves in it.
We are each beautiful and whole on our own, even when we are not fully aware of it yet. Each of us have needs to meet in order to feel fulfilled and live an authentic life. Sometimes we can feel unhappy, lost, or unloved without realizing that it can be resolved within ourselves, regardless of our circumstances. Learn about The Art of Self Love.
When we are unhappy all that is happening is that we are choosing things that make us unhappy. Unhappiness is a state of confusion.
Depression can be a major catalyst for the Process of Transformation. Being depressed means you are ready to move to the next level!
Many of us never learned how to care for our emotional well-being and find our joy. Nobody here is a victim in any way whatsoever, we are here to learn together.
What is emotional well-being?
Emotional wellbeing means you feel good, about yourself, your life, the people around you, what do you, what you say and everything in between. It is a state of inner and outer harmony. Emotional wellbeing is only authentic if it does not depend on an external source.
Negative emotions create disorder in the body and positive feelings such as gratitude create increased order resulting in improved digestive, cardiovascular, immune, hormonal, cognitive, and other functions like intuition.
Our feelings guide us. They are our direct feedback system designed to let us know in which direction to go. All feelings are valid because they need to be allowed and understood if we want to integrate all parts of our consciousness.
Many people are raised in unhealthy emotional environments, this is part of our evolution, but it needs to be understood because it creates characters who do not know how to be honest, trust themselves, the world, others, or their feelings, and who suppress, deny, and reject parts of themselves that their parents or caregivers were not able to accept or love because they have their own unresolved emotional wounds. Emotional immaturity is passed down unconsciously because people are not aware of it.
Everything we see is a projection from our mind. Read more about it in Life as a game. The mind has an image of what it desires, judges as valuable and then seeks to find it. These images are projected outward, and this is what we think we see, what we think is real and what we base our behavior on. Therefore, what is in our mind will determine what we create. This is why childhood conditioning is our toolbox with which we create, for better or worse, unless we consciously grow and expand ourselves continuously.
It is important to learn to distinguish between love and guilt. Codependent relationships are fear based and present guilt as care or love. In codependent relationships we project our unresolved emotional issues onto those around us. Codependent relationships can become clingy because without someone else holding our emotional baggage for us, we have to deal with it ourselves, which is what leads to growth.
If we grow up in an environment where the parents are not able to care for their own emotional well-being, we will not know what unconditional love is and without resolution we will recreate the same patterns in our own relationships because we will not be able to discern between guilt and love. Be aware of how prevalent these patterns are, for example, organized religion can be a codependent relationship based on fear.
The relationship with ourselves
There is ultimately only one relationship that is important. Any other relationship we have will reflect the one we have with ourselves, whether we are conscious enough to notice it or not. The relationship with ourselves is about The Art of Self Love and the foundation of the Process of Transformation.
First, we learn to accept every feeling, and choose to consciously move ourselves to a better frame of mind, every time it is needed. This is what emotionally mature parents teach their children. All emotions want to, and need to, be seen, felt, heard, and understood. We only judge things that we do not understand. In order to integrate our consciousness all aspects are brought into balance and harmony. We give ourselves compassion for being human and learn through every experience. Every experience contains a piece of gold, pain is our greatest teacher.
As we accept ourselves more, we become more honest with ourselves and make decisions that lead us to peace and joy. What we eat, where we live, how we live, who we spend our time with, and how we spend our time become a real priority and we take the steps necessary to care for ourselves in every way possible, one step at a time. When we choose peace then things become allot simpler. During this stage we start to trust life because we have real evidence as we achieve manageable goals.
Love seeds love. Through self care we embrace ourselves, we show ourselves love through the actions and thoughts we now choose. We notice how our beliefs are changing, and we realize that others reflect the love we have for ourselves. We open our minds to see the incredible gift that we are and that life is. We realize that love is something we grow inside of ourselves. We realize that we can only give to others what we have. As we grow in love for life and ourselves we are able to feel compassion for others and choose to understand before judging. We choose to forgive, all the time, because it sets us free. Because we are no longer fearful we can be fully present to the moment, whatever it offers us.
As we become more intimate with ourselves and life we expand our consciousness through the integration of seemingly opposite ideas. We create inner peace. Our vision is no longer obscured by fear and we embody our true authentic self more every day. The love we give ourselves is now continuously being refilled by life, we have surrendered, we live in love, we feel love in everything and everywhere, and see it in everyone now because we understand what the journey of life is really for. We live free and at peace, and the world around us reflect this. We choose to share this higher love in whatever situation we find ourselves because there is nothing else that compares. Life now lives through us.
Recognize that the source of all we have is life, nothing really belongs to any of us. This sets us free. Give to life what we want to receive.
We are all capable of living in love. It is a process of inner alchemy and purification.
This article is an overview of my personal perspective on the human transformation process that is based on my own experience. While each of us have a unique path for our life, the path to higher love has certain ingredients. These elements of liberation have been communicated through time in many ways. We have always been guided towards a life of greater joy, but fear will misinterpret and obscure the truth from us until we are ready.
A catalyst can be any emotionally charged situation.
A death, a birth, a new relationship, end of a relationship, a vision, a visitor, financial or other loss, global or regional events like a pandemic. The event charge must be big enough that it creates an opening for new awareness. Suffering is really a gift for transformation.
We can learn to recognize these events, big ones and smaller ones. You will recognize it by the intensity of the emotions and / or the amount of energy used to think about it. They are like quests and your emotional body is your guide. Here it is important to reaffirm our inner knowing that absolutely everything that comes into our space is there for a reason, and that everything is always for our benefit, no matter how it may appear on the surface.
2. A Period of Solitude
Everyone needs alone time. This is a single player game. We need time to reflect and understand if we want to continue to grow.
So even if we cannot spend significant time in solitude we can still make space by setting boundaries and committing to the process. This really also ties in with a healthy environment. If we do not have sufficient space to reflect and our environment is filled with unhealthy and co-dependent patterns we will not be able to do the work. The ideal is at least a few months of solitude. In some books I have read about 6 months, in others 7 years. It should be a simple, down to earth lifestyle, where we can focus on our inner world. The people that we engage with during this period should be caring and kind. Our intuition is our best guide.
The thing is that if it is our time to do this work then we will be given the opportunity for it, even if we need to learn boundaries first. So trust your own journey and work with whatever is currently available to you.
Personal side note: I think the results will be determined by the commitment and detachment we have to the process. I lived in solitude for many years, I isolated myself because I was not happy with the relationships I was capable of having. I never met anyone I thought would understand me, and I had very low self esteem with no/rigid boundaries, co-dependent habits, enmeshment trauma and emotionally immaturity. I had no idea what was going on or who I really was. I actually gave up and simply decided I was determined to figure out how to be complete and happy by myself. I poured myself into studying, Intuitive Geometry, building a self-sufficient home, growing a food forest, changing habits, and learning how to do things that made me feel peace and joy. I have made incredible changes and simplified my life to a surprising degree. It is a fascinating and ongoing process. What makes us unconditionally happy is unique for each individual. I believe it is through our authenticity and embracing our uniqueness that we can create a life that we love.I also believe that it is only through being authentic that we can create harmonious interdependent relationships.
3. Health & Diet
If our diet is unhealthy then this will be a vital part of the process. In order to take care of ourselves we use the body as our learning tool, so first we start taking better care of ourselves.
I do not advocate any particular diet or exercise. Some movements or stretches performed daily, even if it is just for 20 minutes is a good start. Food should be light and fresh with lots of herbs if possible. Intermittent fasting really boosts the process and it also has significant psychological benefits.
4. Healthy Environment
A healthy environment is one that is free from damaging habits and relationships.
The environment must not reinforce old conditioning. It must be as free from outside influence as much as possible so that we can really get to know ourselves. For example: co-dependent relationships, relationships with unresolved conflict, guilt, shame, damaging addictions etc. The environment should ideally be calm, in or close to nature, free from heavy pollutants etc.
There are layers to our self. We peel away the layers of fear that prevent us from being authentic.
The value of knowing ourselves has been passed down through time. When we do not know who we are, we are essentially living a fake life. This part of the process requires time to reflect and understand. We rewire our brains when we choose to look at ourselves objectively, find the lessons we learned in life and discover the wisdom that we want to share.
First we come to understand our self as an ego, our character and the roles we play. We deeper our understanding, expand our consciousness with an open mind and integrate all of our self. Through this process we come to realize ourselves as a higher self. The more love we grow inside ourselves the greater our awareness of our spirit self and the more intimate with life we become. With great clarity we can see the patterns that make up the experience we call life.
6. Expanded perspective
While self-inquiry is a process of understanding and logic, an expanded perspective is about an open mind and the unknown. It is about looking at everything, considering absolutely everything with an open mind. Allowing ourselves to be completely free to interpret, understand and imagine.
What we are doing during this phase is expanding our consciousness to a holistic level.
As we grow in our understanding and acceptance we learn to forgive ourselves and others.
This release is part of emotional transmutation. Emotional transmutation is the process of releasing ourselves from bottled up emotions, childhood conditioning and compulsive behavior. Basically all emotional baggage is released bit by bit. For many people this may mean allot of crying, exercising, and other creative activities. Read about Emotional Well being.
Self love is learning to understand our self to the degree that we integrate and love all parts of our consciousness. Through compassion we really grow to love both the good and bad, our uniqueness and ourselves as a part of nature, and a spiritual being. We learn to love life and grow in universal acceptance.
9. Growing awareness
Here we really start tapping into our intuition and higher purpose. We learn to be in flow with life, live in the present and allow the universe to work through us.
10. Regaining complete trust
Through our commitment and growing awareness we learn to trust life.
As we deeper our relationship with life we regain complete trust and so enter into a much more refined frequency.
11. Inviting higher consciousness
This part of the process can happen at any given stage and is ongoing. There is no end to the divine joy and peace we can experience. Every day becomes an opportunity to invite higher love. When we engage with life and the source of life on an intimate level life itself responds powerfully. This is really about allowing life to be magical.
Every part of the process is about becoming more peaceful within ourselves. A peaceful heart and mind creates a peaceful life. Ultimate peace comes from trusting life, feeling loved and cared for by life.
While we can know peace stillness can be elusive. Stillness is really about opening ourselves up to all of life and letting it flow through us without interference. There are so many ways we can become still and meditate. Initially we find bits of stillness and as we develop our ability to connect with the source of life we expand our ability to love stillness. Stillness is magic.
Gratitude is something we learn to practice. Initially it may be fleeting experiences or conscious activities like writing in a gratitude journal. The more we invite gratitude into our life, the more it permeates our consciousness. Eventually gratitude is our baseline attitude. We feel more and more grateful for every moment of existence and everything life offers us.
15. Joy &Bliss
When we start to swirl in an aura of universal love and gratitude we live in a state of joyful bliss. Our stillness becomes a reservoir of joy and bliss.
True intimacy is taking another as yourself, loving them as yourself. That is why self-love comes first. Only when we love ourselves unconditionally do we become capable of loving another in a clean aura of love.
Love is corrupted by fear. In a world where fear dominates, we are unable to discern between love and fear unless we raise our frequency into one of love. Through the frequency of fear love becomes guilt. When guilt is the foundation of any relationship it cannot be harmonious. Guilt creates a great deal of stress and leads to compulsive actions taken out of fear, in an attempt to cover up the underlying feelings of fear and guilt. Fear is the foundation of any co-dependent relationship.
When we do not love ourselves, we use people to project unresolved emotional patterns on. It cannot be otherwise because we are energy. Energy that continuously seeks balance and equilibrium. True intimacy sees no separation between you and the other. We can understand that everything is a relationship.
True intimacy can only exist in a field of love which is created through integrity and honesty.
Each of us are powerful creative beings, which means that just one party in a relationship has to create through a frequency of fear in order to affect the entire relationship. Every single thought, word and action is either taken from a frequency of love or fear, every creative act has a charge, which means nothing is neutral. That is why honesty is an integral part of unconditional love and acceptance.
Like attracts like, fear can bring people together just as much as love can. In so many cases it is fear of intimacy, fear of rejection and fear of lack that bring people together so that we can see in each other what we fear the most. It is only when we believe in a lack of love and see it as a scare commodity that it becomes an exclusive thing, that what you give to one person takes away from another and similar types of limiting beliefs.
Fear is not something of itself, even though we can witness its effects, fundamentally it is just a lack of love, it is a perception of lack of love. Fear is a belief in what is false. It is fear and love that repel each other. That is why when we do shadow work and clean our system, our relationships change, sometimes dramatically. These fears show us the limiting beliefs that need to be resolved to move our frequency higher.
The only thing we ever really have to accept and understand is that we can only change ourselves. The deep learning is that we cannot take responsibility for anyone else. Free will is the power we each wield. Nobody is a victim, ever. Every decision is a choice between love and fear.
Fear creates confusion and self-doubt because it does not contain the ingredients for love. We are continuously receiving feedback from the universe through our feelings. When we learn to embrace and understand our feelings, we can use them to guide us to love.
Our evolution is a revolution of relationships. It is a revolution of love. A revolution that starts within. We transform our inner relationship with love, which is what affects our world and society.
Intimacy and pure love are the foundation of all existence because love is the frequency that creates eternally without interference. Wholesome love it is the most natural thing for us to do, but as we travel through cycles, we will inevitably find ourselves at a point where we build entire cultures out of fear and structure societies in resistance to love.
The love I am talking about is a higher love. The ability to love people deeply. To love life deeply.
The ability to see the best in everyone and fall in love with that spirit is a love that is free of quilt and shame. It is a love that gives. This is a universal love that is based on mutual respect, interdependency, transparency, and higher purpose. It is a mature love and requires emotional maturity of all parties involved, that is why it is part of our evolution.
Every decision, that means every thought, word or action is a choice between fear and love. When you live this truth, it changes everything. This is what our intuition is for, once we learn to trust it then we always know the right way to go in every situation. The right way being the one that leads to greater love and joy. We are made for joy. That is why our pleasures can be so irresistible. There is an important distinction between following sense pleasures and following our unconditional joy. They lead in opposite directions. The one believes itself a body and the other something greater with potential.
The path of integrity is a conscious choice that is made when the consciousness is ready. The first step is always that we start to care for ourselves better. We start by changing the relationship we have on the inside, one decision at a time.
We continuously draw the right people into our lives at the right time, magnetically we will draw a match that will push us higher to learn. When you live it consciously it can really feel like a game. Where we want to go must be a conscious choice to love, every time. It gets easier over time.
We can dedicate our life to a higher purpose by allowing each situation to work for your benefit. This is the fastest path to raising our frequency, feeling lighter, loved and being filled with joy.
People will reflect the love we have for ourselves. This is what makes it so magical.
When we can see others as our energetic brothers and sisters we can love others for who they are because they exist in relationship to ourselves. Everyone can teach us about ourselves. Individually we are unique expressions of source energy. Together we are one expression of source consciousness. We are like the rays of the sun, we can never be apart. This is the truth of who we are.