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Understanding Spiritual Development and the Quality of Relationships

Understanding Spiritual Development and the Quality of Relationships - Article by Nathalie Strassburg

Defining Spiritual Development, Defining a Relationship that Lacks Quality, Understanding the Phenomenon of Unfulfilling Relationships, Moving the Masculine Energy into the Higher Centers, Role Mates, Soul Mates, Twin Flames, Sacred Partnerships, and Quality Relationships, The Ingredients for Quality Relationships, Learn more about the full spectrum of self-realization.

Understanding spiritual development and the impact it has on the quality of relationships is a perspective on the lack of fulfilling relationships in society.

Defining Spiritual Development

Spirituality is the non-physical expressions of consciousness, and it is the source of all physical expressions. The feminine and masculine expressions in the physical dimension are reflections of the feminine and masculine aspects of consciousness and the individual psyche, the opposites. Spiritual development balances and unites the feminine and masculine polarities within one individual consciousness. Realize that at this time men and women can be predominantly feminine or masculine in their polarity and expression.

Spiritual development is the gradual process of developing empowered perspectives on life, ourselves, and the universe. It includes being guided by higher truth, intimacy with higher truth and our greater body of consciousness, expanded perspectives and illuminated awareness of higher truth, surrender to the spiritual nature of life, understanding ourselves and our spiritual nature, devotion to higher truth and our spiritual development, transmuting lower physical, emotional, and mental energies into higher frequencies, and achieving inner peace and authentic inner union with our psychic feminine and masculine aspects. Learn more about the full spectrum of self-realization.

Defining a Relationship that Lacks Quality

A relationship that lacks quality is based predominantly on physical, sexual, emotional, and related psychological needs. It fulfills basic needs for security, safety, support, companionship, attention, and love. It is unfulfilling because humans are designed for higher needs like achievement, spirituality, mental, and creative expansion. A relationship that lacks quality consists of two people using each other for physical, sexual, and emotional fulfillment at the expense of higher self-development.

Understanding the Phenomenon of Unfulfilling Relationships

The physical aspect of life is one part of the expression of our consciousness, we are much more than that, and currently this dimension (planet) is extremely focused on the physical expression. As long as the spiritual aspect (the non-physical expressions and source of the physical expression) remains underdeveloped in an individual they do not enter into their integrated, best self, role model, holistic self with higher self-awareness. Spiritual development is the higher evolution of the emotional self and specifically the roles that individuals play in relationships.

The feminine geometry (and part of the psyche) allow for accelerated development of the higher centers, and this is often the case as they can lead with compassion, understanding, peace, love, harmony, integrity, trust, virtue, vulnerability, etc. The masculine geometry (and part of the psyche) is powerful and allows for accelerated development in the base centers that govern physical and emotional expression so they can lead with support, wisdom, strength, problem solving, desire, confidence, structure, respect, appreciation, and courageous action.

The nature of this dynamic means that for the masculine to move energy into the higher centers he needs some kind of motivating force that drives the energy of desire higher. In practical terms this means that he will see, experience, and act towards the feminine from a limited perspective until the energy is moved. Sex is the simplest example of this. Many people cannot discern between desire and love because they do not know the higher frequencies of love. Without spiritual development the masculine will see the feminine as an object (source) for sexual (physical and emotional energy) fulfillment, which drives most of the masculine’s behavior (desires), even if they will not admit it, are even truly aware of it, or profess otherwise.

As long as the feminine is unaware of this dynamic, or simply just allows herself to be seen and used in this way, or even enjoys it because of her own lack of spiritual development (which can be caused by her imbalance and lack of development in the lower centers), she will experience unfulfilling relationships, or simply settle for what she thinks is the best she can get, even though she may suppress or deny the deep desires for a more profound and intimate connection. There is an entire spectrum of intimacy.

Moving the Masculine Energy into the Higher Centers

There are three ways the masculine can move the powerful energies of love, desire, and willpower into the higher centers. The first is growing up in an environment that provides the awareness and guidance, which is the mother’s true role as a spiritual being.

The second way is that his experiences lead him into a space where he can do the work himself, often due to pain, psychological and/or physical isolation, or other emotional trauma. Gender confusion, anger, apathy, and resentment are often symptoms of this subconscious frustration of not knowing how to move the energy into the higher centers, and not receiving the inner or outer guidance to do so.

The third way is that a feminine uses her spirituality, discernment, integrity, virtue, and power to lead the masculine to do the work by not allowing a relationship to be based on the lower centers. This is currently profoundly difficult for many, mostly because of energetic imbalances that can make the feminine excessively needy, impatient, unloving, lack self-respect, or unable to provide themselves with the nurturing and spiritual development they need in order to play the highest role that the feminine can play in society, due to poor role models or conditioning. The highest role a feminine can play in society is not taking the place of the masculine and fulfilling his role. Read more about feminine and masculine expressions.

Role Mates, Soul Mates, Twin Flames, Sacred Partnerships, and Quality Relationships

Terms like soul mates and twin flames are often used without consideration of the individuals development, which can make it very confusing. Any relationship, including soul mate and twin flame relationships can be profoundly destructive and unfulfilling when it is between two individuals where one or both are immature, lack self-love, or are underdeveloped emotionally, spiritually, or mentally. The divorce rate and number of single parent families provides us with all the proof we need to understand the powerful impact this is having on society. Many people are entering into relationships out of lack, desire, and need. The result is relationships that generate more lack, more desire, and more need. It creates a perpetual cycle of disempowered individuals, disempowering communities, and unfulfillment.

Quality relationships are based on two individuals who have taken the time and put in the effort to become their best self, preparing themselves for another who has done the work, and not settling for less.

Until such a time when we create more quality relationships we will continue to go through a period where most relationships are simply the triggers for self-development and spiritual awakening.  Twin flame relationships specifically are highly charged energetic dynamics meant to push each individual into a higher state of being.

Currently most of these relationships are seen as a romantic fantasy when they are in fact a spiritual relationship more like a teacher and student, or a game of spiritual seduction with a bond that is designed to be unbreakable to allow for the spiritual work to be done. As long as the counterpart with the highest frequency is unaware of their own spiritual nature or the spiritual nature of the relationship they may lower their frequency repeatedly to match their counterpart through fulfillment of sexual, physical, emotional, and other psychological needs. This will not allow the counterpart to move energy into their higher centers. This is not the universal intention for this relationship which is why separation is often orchestrated for their mutual benefit so that each can work on themselves. To play this role in someone’s life requires determination, trust, intuition, and guidance through higher truth.

Read Soul Connections – The Spectrum of Relationships and The Spectrum of Gender – Feminine & Masculine Expressions.

The Ingredients for Quality Relationships

Physical, emotional, spiritual, and mental balance.

Trust in life, consciousness, and higher truth.

Awareness of higher potential.

Belief that life is designed for higher fulfillment.



Ability to care for oneself.

Ability to honor oneself.

Ability to master our desires, and use them for a higher benefit.




Personal purpose.

A sense of accomplishment and success in whatever we do.

Commitment to higher ideals.

Authenticity, truthfulness, and transparency.

Learn more about the full spectrum of self-realization.

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