Others reflect the love we give to ourselves, prove it to yourself. We can only care for another’s emotional well-being when we know how to care for our own. Honesty and acceptance allow us to open a secret door to our inner self. Intimacy is about seeing, feeling, hearing, understanding and knowing our authentic true self. Authentic Self love is the highest vibration frequency in this world. This means meeting our needs, and giving to ourselves what we would want someone else to give to us. Self sacrifice, and selfishness are the lower vibrations of self love.
The Languages of Self Love
Words of Self-affirmation
Encouragement, appreciation, empathy, honesty, listening to ourselves, focussing on our higher self. Showing ourselves compassion and speaking kindly to ourselves. Soothe ourselves during stressful times with positive statements and affirming truths. Daily use of Personal affirmations – listening, writing, reading, speaking, chanting, and singing. Journaling to understand one self, recognize our gifts, heal, and grow.
Gifts of Self-Love
Cultivating self awareness. Thoughtful gifts and gestures from the heart, and with expressions of gratitude. Gifts that nourish our mind, body, soul and spirit. Recognizing all the gifts we receive by just being alive, recognizing that the source of all we have is life, nothing really belongs to any of us. This sets us free. Being grateful to life is receiving a gift, it fills us. Investing in ourselves. Making our thoughts our best friends. Recognizing our efforts and being open to feedback for growth. Having patience with our own growth. Relaxing and taking time to enjoy just being.
Acts of Self-Service
Action phrases that affirm positive beliefs, supports growth, releases grievances. Doing what is in our best interest and for the highest benefit of all. Meeting our needs in healthy ways. Meeting our emotional needs. Developing talents and interests. Making our physical and emotional well being our priority and our responsibility to the greatest degree possible. Following our authentic joy. Being authentic. Cultivating higher aspirations for our life. Facing our pain, healing the past and opening our hearts. Saying No. Saying no to co-dependency and yes to interdependency. Setting and maintaining healthy boundaries. Living a higher purpose. Friendship. Living with positive intentions and empowering others. Balance in giving and receiving support.
Quality Self-Time
Uninterrupted and focused conversations, writing, journaling, using a diary, recording, prayer, any one-on-one time with ourselves. Stillness is quality time. Meditation. Contemplation and introspection. Self-inquiry. Creative expression. Honoring ourselves, our feelings, and our needs. Doing something special or unusual for ourselves. Reading or watching uplifting content. Time in Nature. Rest, recovery, and sleep.
Being Present in our Body
Non-verbal expressions such as touch, cuddling, stroking, massage, moving meditations, acts of self-care, long baths, warm shower, spa, exercise, hygiene, grooming, pampering, masturbating, tantra, yoga, dancing, qigong etc. Learning to trust our body’s inner wisdom. Paying attention to ourselves, our feelings, our thoughts, and being mindful.
The Spectrum of the Self
Physical Aspect
This is us as the Liberator, and the highest manifestation is Love. The skills we develop are Intuition (Intuiting) and Willing (Affirming). This is the field of Self-Love and Love of Others.
Instinctive self – Server: to help.
Tribal self – Nurtuer. to nurture.
Emotional Aspect
This is us as the Actor, and the highest manifestation is Grace. The skills we develop are Judging (Contemplation) and Feeling (Compassion). This is the field of Integrated Psychology.
Emotional self – Sage: to train.
Rational self – Scholar: to learn.
Spiritual Aspect
This is us as the Inquirer, and the highest manifestation is Peace. The skills we develop are Prospecting (Investigation) and Sensing (Sensation). This is the field of Ecological Science.
Achiever self – Warrior: to achieve.
Ecological self – Priest/Priestess: to aspire.
Mental Aspect
This is us as the Creator, and the highest manifestation is Joy. The skills we develop are Observation (Observing) and Imagination (Concentration). This is the field of Arts and Culture.
We can understand ourselves through 4 primary areas of development: Physical, Emotional, Spiritual, and Mental. Balance is achieved when these areas are in harmony with each other. Everything is about the relationship with our self. Read more about The Art of Self Love.
To integrate or unify our consciousness into a harmonious whole we must consider each aspect of our self. Within each of us we find the: instinctive self, tribal self, emotional self, rational self, achiever self, ecological self, integrated self, and holistic self. Each one of these selves has different needs and each is integrated into the next before holism is achieved.
Think of it as a playful road map of the self that we can use for the path of self-realization or self-fulfillment.
The Spectrum of the Self
Physical Aspect
This is us as the Liberator, and the highest manifestation is Love. The skills we develop are Willing (Affirmation) and Intuition (Intuiting). This is the field of Self-Love and Love of Others.
Instinctive self – Server: to help.
Tribal self – Nurtuer. to nurture.
Emotional Aspect
This is us as the Actor, and the highest manifestation is Grace. The skills we develop are Feeling (Compassion) and Judging (Contemplation). This is the field of Integrated Psychology.
Emotional self – Sage: to train.
Rational self – Scholar: to learn.
Spiritual Aspect
This is us as the Inquirer, and the highest manifestation is Peace. The skills we develop are Prospecting (Investigation) and Sensing (Sensation). This is the field of Ecological Science.
Achiever self – Warrior: to achieve.
Ecological self – Priest/Priestess: to aspire.
Mental Aspect
This is us as the Creator, and the highest manifestation is Joy. The skills we develop are Observation (Observing) and Imagination (Concentration). This is the field of Arts and Culture.
Integrated self – King/Queen: to be a role model.
Holistic self – Higher Self: to create
Purpose is not a future goal; it is something we are doing in every single moment. Everything that comes into our space is there so that we can fulfill the purpose presented to us in the moment.
If we find ourselves in an unhappy place it is because we have not learned how to make ourselves happy. If we see things in the world or our life that we do not like, then it is because there are parts in ourselves that we are not in harmony with. For example, if your life is complicated then you have not integrated the part of you that loves simplicity. We all have all parts; we cannot deny parts of ourselves without feeling and seeing the consequences.
Painful experiences teach us about vulnerability and when we have tough experiences it often reflects a great unconscious desire to transcend the shadow frequency. Nothing is without reason; every moment has a purpose it fulfills. Fears are always gateways to higher awareness. When we stop seeing suffering as such, and choose to see the opportunity it brings then we do not suffer.
We are not the character/roles/personality, we are really the player. We can expand our consciousness to see the ebb and flow of events, with appreciation or compassion, but without losing ourselves in it.
We are like molecules that fit into each other. From a passing glimpse, a friendship to a romantic tale, they are the ones that we are magnetically attracted to. Attraction is something completely impersonal for the purpose of learning and evolution because everyone we come into contact with is seen through the filters of our own projections and mental filters.
If we can look at attraction as something designed for learning, to show us our shadow and to trigger unresolved emotional issues for resolution, then we can liberate our relationships.
Integrity
Emotional immaturity is probably the greatest barrier to harmonious relationships. Unresolved issues that present themselves as emotional reactions break down the trust in a relationship because they are fear based.
In the earlier stages of new relationships the reality is often obscured, especially when we have conditioned relationship strategies based on insecure attachment. We mirror each other both consciously and unconsciously, in order for things to flow, and then as the relationship progresses we allow more of ourselves to be seen because we feel safe, and things we can’t hide indefinitely start to show, and so incompatibilities can take anything from a few weeks, months or years to show. We think people change but we just become more ourselves in relationships over time.
Integrity is the foundation of any authentic or emotionally mature relationship. A mature relationship respects the unique individual, and is found on trust and mutual understanding.
Higher Purpose
From a higher perspective we meet exactly the right people at the right time based on our current configuration in order to develop our spiritual self which requires awareness, release, and forgiveness.
The moment we start casting people into roles in our lives we get up to all kinds of interesting stories. We lose ourselves in make-believe-I-am-a-some-body, sometimes with hundreds of roles.
Ultimately psychological projection shows that we are an actor to others, and play the movie director casting actors in roles in our own fantasy, created from childhood conditioning, fears, and desires. Read more about it in Life as a game.
As a game of spiritual development with the goal of self-realization, self-fulfillment, and self-love nothing is ever random and there are people with whom we have bonds that go beyond any conscious human understanding.
The Spectrum of Relationships
The Spectrum of Relationships is a framework to understand the nature and purpose of different relationships in our lives. Our subjective human experience is an evolution of awareness so we are often not aware of our own situation or potential without seeing a larger picture. We often do now allow relationships to serve their purpose because we become entangled in beliefs and values we adopted from our society and culture. Fear prevents many people from moving on to better and more harmonious relationships because they are not aware that this is a primary feature of the design of the entire system of life.
When we trust life, focus on getting our lessons in every situation, listen to the feedback we get from life, master ourselves, master our desires, and take the necessary actions to achieve self-realization through our higher purpose and self-fulfillment we will allow our lives to unfold and continuously move into higher and higher frequencies.
Family
The family that we are born into is not random at all. In most cases it will bring opposites come together in order to allow for the greatest expansion. A parent who cannot sit still will inevitably have a child who embodies stillness, or the father who is a major financial achiever will inevitable have a child who cannot or will not be a similar achiever.
Our families are probably the least compatible individuals we spend a significant amount of time with. Conditioning in this way allows for the greatest amount of diversity and potential. It is very important that children are allowed to individuate. It requires some level of emotional maturity in the parents otherwise we end up with enmeshment, co-dependency and other unhealthy dynamics. Many people never become who they really are because they fear the loss of connection from their family. Many of us do not mature if our family are not emotionally mature, and maturing requires us to change the relationship we have with our family, sometimes we have to let go. The world needs people who see things differently, and are willing to do things differently.
Chance Encounters
Just being in the same space as someone else affects us in ways that we cannot always understand with our conscious mind because of projection and the exchange of energy that takes place. Just one meeting with someone that embodies a frequency we have never encountered will noticeably affect us. We can meet someone at an art exhibition or a gas station that deeply affects us. We just never forget some people because they represent some part in ourselves. Once we can see the world from a metaphysical perspective and understand the psychology of projection it is easier to grasp these encounters and their purpose in our lives.
Friendship
Friendships have the potential to be the best type of relationship because they can be free from compulsions. Friendships can last from a few hours, days, or a lifetime. When a relationship is free from compulsion it has the greatest opportunity to teach us because we can be honest with each other, learn the most about ourselves, others, and the world. In a friendship we have the greatest amount of freedom to change and evolve as we focus on our own development.
Romance
Our deep desire for spiritual reunion (energetic reunion with our source) is the foundation of attraction. When the attraction is strong enough it can be an incredibly powerful force. Love is the foundation of this universe and we prove it to ourselves all the time. There are many different types of romantic relationships, from fantasy relationships, casual encounters, short term hookups, a few months, and then longer term relationships.
Romantic relationships are connections that focus predominately in the lower 4 chakras / energy centers (root, sacral, navel, and solar plexus). The only relationships that can be harmonious and long lasting include mutual growth and development towards self actualization which requires the relationship to move into the hear chakra and through to the higher chakras / energy centers (heart, thyroid, throat, eye, and crown), which makes it a soul mate or sacred partnership. The reason these higher chakra relationships are still in the minority is because romantic love is primarily associated with fulfilling basic needs like safety, stability, security, emotional experiences, desires, sexual and physically intimate experiences, ego gratification, self-esteem, and other pleasure based experiences. In general these are superficial ego based romances that are for reproduction. These can be short or long, troubled, intense and commonly involve children. Read Understanding Spiritual Development and the Quality of Relationships.
Most romantic relationships are individuals who come together because their trauma bonds are compatible. These are relationships that come to help us heal unresolved emotional trauma. They are not always healthy relationships, often inauthentic (even unconsciously), codependent, and often have a similar dynamic we had with our parents, especially if we have a difficult relationship with one parent. Once we become aware of how our past affects our current relationships, do the work to heal our emotional body, and learn to distinguish between healthy and unhealthy love, then our relationship template is updated and we will attract healthier partners into our lives. Sometimes some people come into our lives simply so that we can say no, I have learned the lesson.
Karmic Relationships
Karmic Relationships are relationships between individuals that are for the purpose of manifesting karma and situations to resolve emotional trauma. This means that these relationships cannot and will not evolve past the 4 lower charkas / energy centers (root, sacral, navel, and solar plexus). Trauma bonds, as mentioned above, will be present along with incompatibility and general disharmony. What sets a karmic relationship apart from other relationship types is that there will be a lack of unconditional love, and they can be extremely difficult to detach from because most people have allot of unresolved emotional trauma from just living in the current world. Read Understanding Spiritual Development and the Quality of Relationships.
These relationships are energetic bonds created with our root, sacral, navel, and solar plexus energy centers / chakras which makes them very intense (or later very boring), compulsive, and we often loose our unique identity in these relationships because their presence requires a lack of development in the solar plexus center which governs our will, self-confidence, and self-assurance.
Trauma bonds are very deep energetic blocks in our energy field, and in order to free ourselves from these bonds we have to integrate allot of unconscious information. Transcending these relationships requires us to do emotional body work, some form of therapy, gain deeper psychological self-awareness, and become self-empowered. This is why so many people get stuck in these relationships.
Think of individuals who are in unhealthy relationships with their parents, or a couple who cannot seem to let go of their passionate but troubled relationship no matter what they do. Karmic relationships can often be associated with violence and aggression because they are triggering deep immature emotional energy.
It can be dangerous to continue in these relationships once the universe has presented opportunities for the individuals to move apart. Remaining in these relationships after the emotional triggers have occurred can affect everything in our lives, and everything we attempt to create. Once these relationships come to an end it is vital for the individuals to spend enough time on their own in order to process the lessons they learned, otherwise they will repeat the same lessons in the next relationship they get involved in.
Soul Mates
Soul Mates are those soul connections that starts to open our hearts. They are connections that form in the lower 4 chakras / energy centers and into the heart center. They are meaningful bonds where a deeper authentic connection is possible when there is complementary compatibility and maturity.
In Soul Mate connections we we get to know our authentic self, our conditioning, and we learn what it means to experience greater degrees of unconditional love. They can still be a positive or negative experience depending on our attachment style, masculine and feminine balance, current energetic configuration, relationship template, and level of awareness.
These experiences are powerful drivers for the Process of transformation and shadow work because they teach us what we really want, and need in order to be self-empowered individuals. We are always provided with what we need to expand our consciousness, realize inner truth, and achieve self-fulfillment. Authentic Self-love is the highest vibration frequency in this world.
A true Sacred Partnership or Twin Flame connection is an uplifting, loving, compassionate, mature, and lasting relationship with a companion that is truly compatible on a physical, mental, emotional and spiritual level. These Sacred Partnerships are beyond romance even if they may contain it, and they are identified by the devotion of two individuals to their individual higher purpose and self-actualization. Read Understanding Spiritual Development and the Quality of Relationships.
These connections have the possibility of connecting through all 9 chakras / energy centers: root, sacral, navel, solar plexus, heart, thyroid, throat, eye, and crown. This type of relationship is only possible when the lower 4 chakras / energy centers are coherent, and the emotional body has been healed to a great extent. These relationships are recognized by the unconditional love that is present because these individuals have balanced their masculine and feminine aspects within themselves, developed self-love, and unconditional love within themselves which they can now share. Because the heart connection is present it allows the individuals to continue to do their personal transformation for self-actualization in a safe space. In these relationships nothing is hidden and we are continuously expressing our authentic self and our needs. These relationships are for individuals who are consciously realizing inner truth, developing their intuition and higher abilities, self-actualizing, and growing in their spiritual connection to all of life.
The easiest way to distinguish these relationships is that they are harmonious 95% of the time and they will not be focused on issues relating to safety, security, emotions, lower frequency desires, sexuality, and self-assurance because these individuals have already worked through the issues relating to the lower chakras and their lives, and lifestyle will be the evidence for it.
Holy Relationships & Twin Flames
In some cases the universe will bring together two individuals who are each other’s extreme opposite, black and white, to such a degree that they are not compatible for any other relationship but a holy one intended for spiritual liberation, shadow work, and unconditional love. A holy relationship serves the collective by bringing two individuals together for energy exchange and awareness so that they can balance the masculine and feminine aspects within themselves, and then with each other. These two individuals will have a magnetic attraction, but can exhibit polar opposite traits, habits, values, beliefs, and they can dislike many things about each other initially. This energetic dynamic may be obscured initially through projection or it may not, but time will reveal the purpose of the relationship.
The defining factor for a holy relationships is that the two individuals can develop a spiritual bond that transcends both friendship and romance, even if they may include it at various stages, and that can last for the rest of their lives. It is important not to confuse a holy relationship with a sacred partnership which is a relationship based on compatibility and complementary traits, habits, values, and beliefs. Read Understanding Spiritual Development and the Quality of Relationships.
Animal Companions
Animal Companions have always played a significant role in human relationships and they still do. For many people, specifically those with insecure attachment, it is vital for their survival because animals, and especially dogs, channel source energy without much resistance. This means that the animal becomes a source of unconditional love and acceptance. Animals can play a similar mirroring role that humans do where they can teach us about our conditioning, and that is why we often see some similarities between the human and their animal companion. The relationship also creates a safe space where we can develop certain skills required for holistic development and personal growth such as the capacity for intimacy, trust, and unconditional love. Animal companions can also help humans regulate their nervous system, be mindful, and balance their hormones. One of the greatest gifts of an animal companion is the ability to do inner child work together.
Spirit Relationships
Spiritual relationships play different roles in various cultures and can vary greatly due to the individual subjective experience of life, conditioning, and the innate abilities each human vehicle has and can develop. The most significant aspect of this relationship is that it has the ability to create a secure relationship for an individual and allow them to develop trust, intuitive abilities, understanding, insight and unconditional love. This relationship can be with an imaginary friend, an ancient spiritual master, a god, gods, spiritual guides, ancestors, thought forms, and other energetic beings that inhabit different dimensions including the collective unconscious. With these relationships the purpose and benefit is more important than the type. These relationships can be both positive and negative, negative experiences are learning opportunities, usually to develop strength and awareness.
All things supernatural, energy forms, thought forms, aliens, spirits, and other worldly beings are all different forms of energy that exist in different dimensions. We can experience and see them depending on our own level of awareness. They are as we are, and subject to polarity to various degrees because we are all part of the manifested worlds. Consciousness is the source of all forms, beyond all of it, and beyond the polarity of good, and bad.
Spiritual Guide Relationships
Those who have expanded their consciousness and achieved coherence in all 9 energy centers (root, sacral, navel, solar plexus, heart, thyroid, throat, eye, and crown) are a special gift to the world and those individuals who come into contact with them. Ultimately they make us aware of our own potential and inspire us to expand our own consciousness. Our experience of a Spiritual Guide varies depending on our own current level of awareness.
Higher Love
As we dissolve the unnecessary through the Process of transformation and the tension for transformation we open our vehicle to greater love frequencies, and embody our higher self or soul consciousness. Through the process of self-love, self-knowing, self-realization, self-actualization, and self-fulfillment we no longer see ourselves as the character or roles. When we are no longer attached to our personality we can see and experience life, and love, from a metaphysical perspective. In this state of unconditional love, love it is all around us, felt in everything and we see the beauty and truth in everyone.
After sincere long-term consideration, I think that life is a game, a game of spiritual transformation, and the name of the game is “Who do I think I am?”
‘A Game’ is the only perspective where everything makes sense to me. It does not mean I am right, but it does mean that I am brave enough to share my opinion.
The experiences I have had in my life are unbelievable to many people. I am living evidence that nothing here is what it seems.
Everything we see is a projection from our mind. The mind has an image of what it desires, judges as valuable and then seeks to find it. These images are projected outward, and this is what we think we see, what we think is real and what we base our behavior on. What we see is unique for each of us. What we see in others is a reflection of our own consciousness. Therefore, what is in our mind will determine what we create. This is why childhood conditioning and the past is our toolbox with which we create, both the positive and negative, unless we consciously release the past, grow and expand ourselves continuously. Every word we speak and every thought we consciously think is our inherited creative ability to manifest in this world. Liberation is about expanding our consciousness so that we can see ourselves and the world for what it truly is. There are an infinite number of paths to this truth.
We are an actor to others, and play the movie director casting actors in roles in our own fantasy, created from childhood conditioning, fears, and desires.
We lose our Self in make-believe-I-am-a-some-body, sometimes with hundreds of roles. This is the ego’s games, but we are not the characters, we are truly the players. We can create whatever we want, none of them were real or ever will be. Nothing needs to be forgiven because it never really happened. Our vehicle has an expiry date, but we do not.
We can clear ourselves of roles through conscious release, and take the necessary action to liberate our relationships. This is part of the process of transformation.
Question every single moment, remain present as the player to see the truth for yourself. Nothing is what we think it is.
Liberate yourself.
Imagine your vehicle has an entire spectrum of possibilities when it comes to skill and trait development like a dashboard in the best game you can imagine. Most of us only develop the skills and traits that our parents wanted or did not want us to because it kept us safe, got their approval or attention.
Imagine for a moment you are none of those things, that none of it was real, that the past truly does not exist. What would you think then, or do, or where would you go if you had nothing to hold you?
People experience purposelessness because they are looking for purpose based on limiting beliefs. Every moment is our purpose. Every moment we are making choices that affect our consciousness and therefore our development and transformation.
When we actually allow ourselves to let life be, it feels almost orchestrated.
Our quests and challenges come in the form of limiting beliefs, conditioning, fears and desires. They are doorways to our greater Self.
We deny ourselves the magic when we let limiting beliefs and our fears dictate our reality. For most of my life I was lost in what I thought others wanted me to be. What I genuinely wanted required me to surrender to a force I did not know in a world I did not trust. The most challenging part was letting go of all the things I had filled my life with, without questioning any of it. We can get stuck so easily, taking life seriously when it is never intended to be that.
When we remove all but the essential from our life, things become a whole lot simpler and clearer. When we become discerning about how and with whom we spend our time things can become meaningful.
If we trust that the universe will bring to us exactly what we need in every moment to grow, then life can be an adventure.
When we can be present as the player, we have access to a greater range of skills, abilities, and information. It is a more resourceful state.
Our minds are a tool to process information and our bodies are a learning tool for the mind. If we look at the world as a game we remain curious, and alert for clues and learning opportunities.
When we make no assumptions about anything then the universe can communicate directly with us. Be free from limiting beliefs. It is really the ultimate adventure. It is a wild ride where things are not in our control, all we have is free will to choose. Make the changes you want inside of yourself first. If we want to feel more love, then we must do things for ourselves that make us feel loved. We must expand your idea of what love is, and claim our creative power.
True freedom only comes when the game is recognized for what it is. It is not resolved from the level of the mind.
Salvation is in the last place we will look for it, inside ourselves. Nobody is victim here in any way whatsoever. You are your liberator.
We are all capable of living in love. It is a process of inner alchemy and purification.
This article is an overview of my personal perspective on the human transformation process that is based on my own experience. While each of us have a unique path for our life, the path to higher love has certain ingredients. These elements of liberation have been communicated through time in many ways. We have always been guided towards a life of greater joy, but fear will misinterpret and obscure the truth from us until we are ready.
A catalyst can be any emotionally charged situation.
A death, a birth, a new relationship, end of a relationship, a vision, a visitor, financial or other loss, global or regional events like a pandemic. The event charge must be big enough that it creates an opening for new awareness. Suffering is really a gift, it is the tension for transformation.
We can learn to recognize these events, big ones and smaller ones. You will recognize it by the intensity of the emotions and / or the amount of energy used to think about it. They are like quests and your emotional body is your guide. Here it is important to reaffirm our inner knowing that absolutely everything that comes into our space is there for a reason, and that everything is always for our benefit, no matter how it may appear on the surface.
2. A Period of Solitude
Everyone needs alone time. This is a single player game. We need time to reflect and understand if we want to continue to grow.
So even if we cannot spend significant time in solitude we can still make space by setting boundaries and committing to the process. This really also ties in with a healthy environment. If we do not have sufficient space to reflect and contemplate we cannot expand our awareness. If our environment is filled with unhealthy and co-dependent patterns we will not be able to do the inner work. The ideal is at least some periods of solitude, or a few months. In some books I have read about 6 months, in others 7 years. It should be a simple, down to earth lifestyle, where we can focus on our inner world. The people that we engage with during this period should be caring and kind. Our intuition is our best guide.
The thing is that if it is our time to do this work then we will be given the opportunity for it, even if we need to learn boundaries first. So trust your own journey and work with whatever is currently available to you.
My inner truth: I think the results will be determined by the commitment and detachment we have to the process. I lived in solitude for many years, I isolated myself because I was not happy with the relationships I was capable of having. I never met anyone I thought would understand me, and I had very low self esteem with no/rigid boundaries, co-dependent habits, enmeshment trauma and emotionally immaturity. I had no idea what was going on or who I really was. I actually gave up and simply decided I was determined to figure out how to be complete and happy by myself. I poured myself into studying, Intuitive Geometry, building a self-sufficient home, growing a food forest, changing habits, and learning how to do things that made me feel peace and joy. I have made incredible changes and simplified my life to a surprising degree. It is a fascinating and ongoing process. What makes us unconditionally happy is unique for each individual. I believe it is through our authenticity and embracing our uniqueness that we can create a life that we love.I also believe that it is only through being authentic that we can create harmonious interdependent relationships.
3. Health & Diet
If our body or diet is unhealthy then this will be a vital part of the process. In order to expand our consciousness we use the body as a learning tool because our body and our relationship to food is symbolic for the relationship with our whole self and expanding our ability to obtain nourishment from higher frequencies. Taking care of ourselves affects every part of our being and consciousness. Health, diet, and exercise are important in the process of embracing the tension for transformation, mastering our desires, and balancing our feminine and masculine hormones and expressions.
Food should be light and fresh with lots of herbs if possible. I can recommend a predominantly liquid diet, it has revolutionized the way I see, prepare, and consume food. Intermittent fasting (once a week, once a month, and restricting food to a 7 hour window during the day) really boosts the process and it also has significant psychological benefits. I do not advocate any particular type of exercise, just some movements or stretches performed daily, even if it is just for 20 minutes is a good start because it allows energy to move through the body.
4. Healthy Environment
A healthy environment is one that is free from damaging habits and relationships.
The environment must not reinforce old conditioning. It must be as free from outside influence as much as possible so that we can really get to know ourselves. For example: co-dependent relationships, relationships with unresolved conflict, guilt, shame, damaging addictions etc. The environment should ideally be calm, in or close to nature, free from heavy pollutants etc.
5. Self-inquiry
There are layers to our self. We peel away the layers of fear that prevent us from being authentic.
The value of knowing ourselves has been passed down through time. When we do not know who we are, we are essentially living a fake life. This part of the process requires time to reflect and understand. We rewire our brains when we choose to look at ourselves objectively, find the lessons we learned in life and discover the wisdom that we want to share.
First we come to understand our self as an ego, our character and the roles we play. We deeper our understanding, expand our consciousness with an open mind and integrate all of our self. Through this process we come to realize ourselves as a higher self. The more love we grow inside ourselves the greater our awareness of our spirit self and the more intimate with life we become. With great clarity we can see the patterns that make up the experience we call life.
6. Expanded perspective
While self-inquiry is a process of understanding and logic, an expanded perspective is about an open mind and the unknown. It is about looking at everything, considering absolutely everything with an open mind. Allowing ourselves to be completely free to interpret, understand and imagine.
What we are doing during this phase is expanding our consciousness to a holistic level.
As we grow in our understanding and acceptance we learn to forgive ourselves and others.
This release is part of emotional transmutation. Emotional transmutation is the process of releasing ourselves from bottled up emotions, childhood conditioning and compulsive behavior. Basically all emotional baggage is released bit by bit. For many people this may mean allot of crying, exercising, and other creative activities. Read about Emotional Well being.
8. Self-love
Self-love is learning to understand our self to the degree that we integrate and love all parts of our consciousness. Through compassion we really grow to love both the good and bad, our uniqueness and ourselves as a part of nature, and a spiritual being. We learn to love life and grow in universal acceptance. Self-love is the essential ingredient in balancing our feminine and masculine expressions.
9. Growing awareness
Here we really start tapping into our intuition and higher purpose. We learn to be in flow with life, live in the present and allow the universe to work through us.
10. Regaining complete trust
Through our commitment and growing awareness we learn to trust life.
As we deeper our relationship with life we regain complete trust and so enter into a much more refined frequency.
11. Inviting higher consciousness
This part of the process can happen at any given stage and is ongoing. There is no end to the divine joy and peace we can experience. Every day becomes an opportunity to invite higher love. When we engage with life and the source of life on an intimate level life itself responds powerfully. This is really about allowing life to be magical.
12. Peace
Every part of the process is about becoming more peaceful within ourselves. A peaceful heart and mind creates a peaceful life. Ultimate peace comes from trusting life, feeling loved and cared for by life.
13. Stillness
While we can know peace stillness can be elusive. Stillness is really about opening ourselves up to all of life and letting it flow through us without interference. There are so many ways we can become still and meditate. Initially we find bits of stillness and as we develop our ability to connect with the source of life we expand our ability to love stillness. Stillness is magic.
14. Gratitude
Gratitude is something we learn to practice. Initially it may be fleeting experiences or conscious activities like writing in a gratitude journal. The more we invite gratitude into our life, the more it permeates our consciousness. Eventually gratitude is our baseline attitude. We feel more and more grateful for every moment of existence and everything life offers us.
15. Joy &Bliss
When we start to swirl in an aura of universal love and gratitude we live in a state of joyful bliss. Bliss is a state of deep peace, stillness, divine relaxation, inner joy, and unconditional love all experienced at the same time.
True intimacy is taking another as yourself, loving them as yourself. That is why self-love comes first. Only when we love ourselves unconditionally do we become capable of loving another in a clean aura of love.
Love is corrupted by fear. In a world where fear dominates, we are unable to discern between love and fear unless we raise our frequency into one of love. Through the frequency of fear love becomes guilt. When guilt is the foundation of any relationship it cannot be harmonious. Guilt creates a great deal of stress and leads to compulsive actions taken out of fear, in an attempt to cover up the underlying feelings of fear and guilt. Fear is the foundation of any co-dependent relationship.
When we do not love ourselves, we use people to project unresolved emotional patterns on. It cannot be otherwise because we are energy. Energy that continuously seeks balance and equilibrium. True intimacy sees no separation between you and the other. We can understand that everything is a relationship.
True intimacy can only exist in a field of love which is created through integrity and honesty.
Each of us are powerful creative beings, which means that just one party in a relationship has to create through a frequency of fear in order to affect the entire relationship. Every single thought, word and action is either taken from a frequency of love or fear, every creative act has a charge, which means nothing is neutral. That is why honesty is an integral part of unconditional love and acceptance.
Like attracts like, fear can bring people together just as much as love can. In so many cases it is fear of intimacy, fear of rejection and fear of lack that bring people together so that we can see in each other what we fear the most. It is only when we believe in a lack of love and see it as a scare commodity that it becomes an exclusive thing, that what you give to one person takes away from another and similar types of limiting beliefs.
Fear is not something of itself, even though we can witness its effects, fundamentally it is just a lack of love, it is a perception of lack of love. Fear is a belief in what is false. It is fear and love that repel each other. That is why when we do shadow work and clean our system, our relationships change, sometimes dramatically. These fears show us the limiting beliefs that need to be resolved to move our frequency higher.
The only thing we ever really have to accept and understand is that we can only change ourselves. The deep learning is that we cannot take responsibility for anyone else. Free will is the power we each wield. Nobody is a victim, ever. Every decision is a choice between love and fear.
Fear creates confusion and self-doubt because it does not contain the ingredients for love. We are continuously receiving feedback from the universe through our feelings. When we learn to embrace and understand our feelings, we can use them to guide us to love.
Our evolution is a revolution of relationships. It is a revolution of love. A revolution that starts within. We transform our inner relationship with love, which is what affects our world and society.
Intimacy and pure love are the foundation of all existence because love is the frequency that creates eternally without interference. Wholesome love it is the most natural thing for us to do, but as we travel through cycles, we will inevitably find ourselves at a point where we build entire cultures out of fear and structure societies in resistance to love.
The love I am talking about is a higher love. The ability to love people deeply. To love life deeply.
The ability to see the best in everyone and fall in love with that spirit is a love that is free of quilt and shame. It is a love that gives. This is a universal love that is based on mutual respect, interdependency, transparency, and higher purpose. It is a mature love and requires emotional maturity of all parties involved, that is why it is part of our evolution.
Every decision, that means every thought, word or action is a choice between fear and love. When you live this truth, it changes everything. This is what our intuition is for, once we learn to trust it then we always know the right way to go in every situation. The right way being the one that leads to greater love and joy. We are made for joy. That is why our pleasures can be so irresistible. There is an important distinction between following sense pleasures and following our unconditional joy. They lead in opposite directions. The one believes itself a body and the other something greater with potential.
The path of integrity is a conscious choice that is made when the consciousness is ready. The first step is always that we start to care for ourselves better. We start by changing the relationship we have on the inside, one decision at a time.
We continuously draw the right people into our lives at the right time, magnetically we will draw a match that will push us higher to learn. When you live it consciously it can really feel like a game. Where we want to go must be a conscious choice to love, every time. It gets easier over time.
We can dedicate our life to a higher purpose by allowing each situation to work for your benefit. This is the fastest path to raising our frequency, feeling lighter, loved and being filled with joy.
People will reflect the love we have for ourselves. This is what makes it so magical.
When we can see others as our energetic brothers and sisters we can love others for who they are because they exist in relationship to ourselves. Everyone can teach us about ourselves. Individually we are unique expressions of source energy. Together we are one expression of source consciousness. We are like the rays of the sun, we can never be apart. This is the truth of who we are.
