Rosmarinum Officinalis FAMILY LAMIACEAE Rosemary is an evergreen shrub that can grow up to 1.5 metres high. It is very easy to cultivate because it is draught tolerant. It is one of the best herbs to use in the kitchen, a wonderful addition to any garden and it has various medicinal uses.
Ideal Environment
Rosemary can grow in a variety of soils, sandy loam preferred because good drainage is important and lots of sun. Rosemary can also grow in containers outside or in a sunny window.
How to Plant
Rosemary can be grown from seeds, cover lightly with soil and keep slightly moist until they are established with a few sets of leaves. To speed up the process you can soak the seeds overnight and germinate them in a small greenhouse or covering the container with plastic.
How to Water
Once the small plants are established watering Rosemary will vary according to your local climate, generally in warmer areas water only once a week or less and do not water during the rainy season.
Companion Planting
Rosemary goes well with other herbs and is a great addition to any garden because it can draw bees year around (in warmer climates). In particular it is said to go well with sage, thyme, beans, carrots and cabbages.
Rosemary is easy to propagate from an existing plant, clip a 10 to 12 cm piece from soft new growth, strip the leaves from the bottom, use with or without rooting hormone and put them straight into the soil or in water until roots have developed and they can be transplanted.
How to Harvest
Harvest Rosemary throughout the year to encourage growth and to shape your plants, strip the needle-like leaves off the main stem and use as required.
Parts Used
The green needle-like leaves are used and you can eat the flowers.
Preparations
Rosemary preparations include tinctures (about 5ml dose per day), infusions (a teaspoon per cup), ointments and oils.
Uses
Rosemary is calming and can be used to increase vitality and memory. It is also said to help with sleep and blood circulation.
In a 2013 study from Saint Louis University found that Rosemary can improve learning and memory, potentially helping with age-related cognitive decline. (23)
Hyssopus officinalis LAMIACEAE Hyssop is a shrub that is about 50cm high with dark green leaves 2 to 2.5 cm long. During the summer, hyssop produces pink, blue, or, more rarely white fragrant flowers.
Ideal Environment
Hyssop can grow in a range of soils with a more alkaline, sandy, well draining soil preferred. Plants will thrive in full sun and they are draught tolerant.
How to Plant
Sow seeds and cover lightly with soil. Germination takes place in about 14 to 21 days. Space plants about 30 to 60cm apart or plant in containers.
How to Water
Water regularly when there is no rain. You can allow the soil to dry out in-between watering. Hyssop tolerates dry conditions so be careful not to over water.
Companion Planting
Hyssop is often used for honey bees, and it also attracts butterflies and hummingbirds. It is said to be good companion for the cabbage family of plants and grapes.
Hyssop can be propagated by root division in the spring or fall, cuttings and seeds.
How to Harvest
Harvest Hyssop when the plant is in full bloom, ideally during the spring and / or late summer. The leaves and flowers are harvested and may be dried.
Parts Used
The flowering tips and the leaves are used. They can be used fresh or dried.
Preparations
Hyssop is usually taken as an infusion, about 1 to 2 teaspoons per cup of water. You can also make a tincture, dosage is about 2 to 5ml. May also be used externally as an anti-fungal and to assist healing.
Uses
Hyssop is said to relieve coughing and reduces inflammation associated with respiratory infections. Hyssop is also an aromatic relaxing herb with tonic and antiseptic properties (3).
A 2011 review on Hyssopus officinalis found that Hyssop has moderate antioxidant and antimicrobial activity against bacteria together with antifungal and insecticidal antiviral properties in vitro. Animal model studies indicate myorelaxant, antiplatelet and α-glucosidase inhibitory activities (25).
Ocimum basilicum FAMILY LAMIACEAE (MINTS) Information Basil is a green or red herb with a unique sweet yet sharp taste, its subtle liquorice flavour is earthy, full, and fresh. Most varieties are treated as annuals but some are perennial in warmer climates. There are many varieties and related species or species hybrids also called basil. The type used in Italian food is typically called sweet basil. Others include Holy Basil and Lemon Basil.
Ideal Environment
Basil prefers full sunlight (6+ hours) and a warmer climate (15 degrees C and up), so it is best to start them indoors (3 weeks before the last frost) if it is cooler. They like well drained soil, compost and will grow in a wide range of soils (pH levels between 5.1 and 8.5), between 5.5 and 6.5 is considered ideal.
How to Plant
Sow basil seeds thinly and covered with approximately 0.2 – 0.5 cm of compost or good soil. Germination occurs about a week later. Once the seedlings have two pairs of leaves they can be thinned out. Plant at least 30 x 30cm apart, or one plant per pot.
How to Water
Basil generally likes to have moist soil (not soggy because over-watering isn’t good either), I do not let the soil dry out, especially when they are young, once they are more established they can be watered twice a week. Water around the plant and not the leaves.
Companion Planting
Basil helps tomato, peppers, oregano, asparagus, onions, chives, parsley, carrots, nasturtiums and petunias. Basil is helped by chamomile and anise because it is said to increase their oils, and it is possible that growing them close to alliums (onion family of plants) can repel insects and rodents.
Do not plant basil with plants that require little water.
Basil can be purchased as seedlings in plugs and pots ready for planting but they are easy to grow from seeds or cuttings placed in water. To harvest your own seeds for next year you can let some of your plants go to flower, cut the flowering stems when they have dried up (usually turning brown), then rub the stem between your hands to break open the pods and release the small black seeds. Store seeds in a cool and dry place, ideally in an air tight container or packet.
How to Harvest
Start using the basil leaves as soon as the plant can spare some and collect from the tops of the branches, cutting off most of the stem. They bruise easily so handle carefully.
Use basil when it is fresh, and if you have extra you can make a puree (by adding a little water) and freeze them for use in sauces, soups, pesto etc. Basil pesto can also keep in the fridge for a week or so, ensure that there is a thin layer of olive oil ontop.
Parts Used
The leaves are usually used fresh or dried.
The seeds are also soaked and used in drinks, but I have not found scientific research about their constituents.
Preparations
You can make basil infused oil, pesto or just use fresh leaves. Holy basil (Ocimum sanctum) is said to be more medicinal but sweet basil is a close relative. Preparations for holy basil include a juice for skin infections (1oml applied to the affected area twice a day, a decoction is used for fevers and the powder can be used to rub into mouth ulcers (1).
Uses
It is easiest to use basil as a culinary herb in food. Holy basil is said to be used for diabetes (reduce blood sugar levels), to improve vitality, used in reducing fevers, infections and in reducing stress (1).
Cooking options are virtually unlimited with fresh basil, always add your fresh Basil at the last minute to preserve the full flavour. Tear the leaves rather than cutting them because they discolour easily. Basil flavours combine really well with tomato, garlic and eggplant, and works great in soups, stews and sauces.
Basil can also be an insect repellent, rub crushed leaves on the skin and keep a potted basil plant in the kitchen to keep flies at bay.
Key Constituents
Basil contains various volatile oils like Eugonol and Camphene. Basil is also said to be rich in antioxidant vitamins and phenolics, and a source of Protein, Vitamin E (Alpha Tocopherol), Riboflavin and Niacin, Vitamin A, Vitamin C, Vitamin K, Vitamin B6, Folate, Calcium, Iron, Magnesium, Phosphorus, Potassium, Zinc, Copper and Manganese (9).
Key Actions
Antioxidant, antiviral and antimicrobial.
Research
Basil (and oregano) apparently contain large amounts of (E)-beta-caryophyllene (BCP), which might have a use in treating inflammatory bowel diseases and arthritis (11). More than one scientific study has established (in vitro) that compounds in basil oil have potent antioxidant, antiviral, and antimicrobial properties, and potential for use in treating cancer (10).
Cymbopogon ciatrus FAMILY POACEAE A tall Perennial plant that is a grass, apparently there are about 45-55 species of grass in this genus. They are tall with a swollen base and a lovely lemony fragrance. Lemon grass is now planted in most tropical and temperate areas around the world and widely used for its essential oil, in aromatherapy, addition in foods, companion plant and a variety of medicinal uses.
Ideal Environment
They generally prefer warm, moist and sunny areas with fertile, rich, well draining soil. Many sources also recommend mulching to keep the area moist and warm.
How to Plant
Can easily grow 50cm high and up to 1.5 meters in the garden so provide enough space. They can also grow in pots quite easily.
How to Water
Water Lemon grass regularly during the warmer months (well watered at least once a week). Reduce watering in the winter to once every couple of weeks.
Companion Planting
Lemon grass repels many insects including mosquitoes, however in my experience you probably have to plant allot to really get the effect or at least a border around a porch or similar. Lemon grass can work well as a companion plant in the herb garden and several sources list some herbs and other lemony plants.
You can propagate lemon grass from stalks that have a little root on them. You can also divide existing plants easily.
You can also grow them from seeds but it takes a bit of time.
How to Harvest
You can start harvesting once the plants reach about knee heights and the stems are at least as thick as a finger. Usually you harvest a stem or two at a time, just cut it out of the base of the plant with a sharp knife. The outer leaf casing is peeled off and the tender stem in the middle is usually used.
Parts Used
The tender stem is used in foods and infusions (mostly the first 20cm from the swollen base).
The leaves can also be used in decoctions and the essential oil is taken from the whole plant.
Preparations
Infusions are most commonly used.
You can use 1-4 gram of dry material per cup of hot water or 1 mashed root (15), or 1 tablespoon fresh plant material per cup (1, 3). It is also great in soups, curries and Thai food.
Uses
Lemongrass can be taken as a tea for digestive problems. It relaxes muscles of the stomach and gut, relieves cramping and flatulence (1). Other known uses include: fever reducing, poultice for arthritis, Anxiety, relieving nasal congestion, Fatigue, Headaches, High blood pressure, Infection, Insomnia, Pain, Ringworm and toothaches (1, 15).
Key Constituents
Volatile oil with citral (about 70%) and citronella (1).
Luteolin, flavonoids quercetin, kaempferol and apiginin. The phenolic compounds elimicin, catecol, chlorogenic acid, caffeic acid and hydroquinone are also isolated from the plant (16).
Studies indicate that Lemon grass has various pharmacological activities such as anti-amoebic, antibacterial, antidiarrheal, antifilarial, antifungal, anti-inflammator, antimalarial, anti-mutagenicity, anti-mycobacterial, antioxidants, hypoglycemic and neurobehaviorial have also been studied (16).
Humulus Lupulus FAMILY CANNABACEAE Hops is a flowering, perennial vine (as opposed to a vine) that uses its own shoots to act as support for new growth. They are said to be native to Europe, west Asia and North America. Hops is the main ingredient (flavoring and stabilizing) in many beers and has many medicinal uses as a relaxant, sedative etc.
Ideal Environment
Hops prefer rich well draining soil with lots of manure or organic matter and will thrive in full sun. Plant them next to a fence or use trellis, stakes, poles or wires. Each plant should have about 1 metre space and can grow up to 7 meters high, depending on the variety.
How to Plant
Depending on the source of your seeds they may need stratification (6 weeks in the refrigerator). Plant the seeds in small containers, cover lightly with soil and keep them in a warm moist spot. Germination is in about 4 weeks but can take longer.
How to Water
Hops enjoy plenty of water so water regularly, do not let the soil dry out. You can use mulch of organic matter to keep the moisture in and you can add organic fertiliser seasonally.
Companion Planting
Hops will outgrow most things around it and they are heavy feeders (water and nutrients) so do not plant anything too close to them. You can also grown hops in containers.
You can propagate hops from the rhizomes or softwood cuttings. Usually 2 – 3 year old plants are divided.
How to Harvest
The flowers will be ready when they begin to feel dry, sticky and papery with a visible yellow substance. The stems and leaves can be irritating to the skin so wear gloves. It is easiest to cut down the bine for harvesting, the plants will regrow next season. Dry the flowers and store in airtight containers in the freezer.
Parts Used
The dried flowers are used.
Preparations
You can make an infusion (1 teaspoon per cup of water), a powder and a tincture (dosage is around 2 to 4ml a day with max 40ml a week) (3). You can also make creams and lotions.
Uses
Hops are generally used for sleeplessness, reduce anxiety and nervous tension, including headache and indigestion. Hops is also said to reduce sexual excitement in men and can be used for premature ejaculation (3).
In addition hops is also known to be used for ADHD, stomach infections, irritable bowel syndrome, ulcers, period pain, nerve pain, inflammation, muscle tension, fluid retention, some cancers, kidney and bladder infections and more. Lotions and creams can be used for boils, bruises, cuts, dandruff, hair loss, wounds etc.
There are quite a few studies that have confirmed the use of hops for insomnia / sleeplessness, some studies also combine hops with other herbs such as Valerian. A 2012 study found that hop extract has better sedation, pre-anesthetic and anti-anxiety effects than diazepam (a prescription medication) (26).
FAMILY POACEAE Bamboo is incredible, it has the potential to deliver a sustainable balance between habitat and community. This family of flowering perennial evergreen plants are some of the fastest-growing plants in the world. They are very versatile and used as a food source, for construction, scaffolding, crafts, paper, furniture, biomass fuel wood, crop supports, windbreaks and screens.
Ideal Environment
Bamboo will grow easily in a wide range of soils and conditions. They do best with sunshine and regular watering but will not enjoy waterlogged soils.
How to Plant
For a perimeter hedge or windbreak plant then 3m apart. You can intercrop the clumping varieties with other plants for the first 2 to 3 years. Make a hole 30cm x 30cm, fill the hole partially with compost so that the plant will be level, carefully remove the bag, plant and press the soil around the plant.
How to Water
When you plant the bamboo create a watering basin of about 1m around the plant to contain water. Give the plan about 2-5 litres of water when planted and every week after that until they are established (about 1 year).
Companion Planting
Bamboo make an excellent windbreak and screen. They can be intercropped with nearly anything for the first couple of years, after that they can provide a shady area for mushrooms or other shade loving plants, as long as you leave some space to access the bamboo for harvesting.
Seeds are available but they are a little tricky to grow, if you have a supplier you can buy small plants (these are usually grown in a laboratory) or you can divide existing plants too.
How to Harvest
Only clumbs of 3 to 4 years are harvested (during the dry season) after that they can be harvested each year. During the wet season when new shoots emerge mark the new shoots, each year with a different colour (string, paint etc.)
Parts Used
Bamboo shoots, shavings, sap and leaves are used.
Preparations
Only a few types of bamboo produce edible shoots, the shoots are cut and prepared fresh by boiling them, then peeling them before adding them into a variety of dishes.
Uses
There is quite a bit of literature on traditional recipes that include bamboo, so once I have experimented and spent some time studying it I will come back and update this section!
Key Constituents
According to Subhuti Dharmananda, Ph.D., Director, Institute for Traditional Medicine, no systematic evaluation has been carried out, so it is difficult to determine which of the identified compounds might be among the primary active constituents which include selenium, potassium, acetylcholine and flavonoids (e.g., vitexin and orientin) used as antioxidants.
Key Actions
Traditional Chinese forumals for bamboo include treatments for reducing irritability, inflammation, promote circulation, inhibiting allergies, helping with coughs and excess sputum, and much more.
Research
A research study from 2013, Bamboo shoots: a novel source of nutrition and medicine, discuss Various edible species and exotic food products (fermented shoots, pickle, vinegar etc.) and recipes of bamboo shoots (bamboo beer, bamboo cookies). (28)
We can understand ourselves through 4 primary areas of development: Physical, Emotional, Spiritual, and Mental. Balance is achieved when these areas are in harmony with each other. Everything is about the relationship with our self. Read more about The Art of Self Love.
To integrate or unify our consciousness into a harmonious whole we must consider each aspect of our self. Within each of us we find the: instinctive self, tribal self, emotional self, rational self, achiever self, ecological self, integrated self, and holistic self. Each one of these selves has different needs and each is integrated into the next before holism is achieved.
Think of it as a playful road map of the self that we can use for the path of self-realization or self-fulfillment.
The Spectrum of the Self
Physical Aspect
This is us as the Liberator, and the highest manifestation is Love. The skills we develop are Willing (Affirmation) and Intuition (Intuiting). This is the field of Self-Love and Love of Others.
Instinctive self – Server: to help.
Tribal self – Nurtuer. to nurture.
Emotional Aspect
This is us as the Actor, and the highest manifestation is Grace. The skills we develop are Feeling (Compassion) and Judging (Contemplation). This is the field of Integrated Psychology.
Emotional self – Sage: to train.
Rational self – Scholar: to learn.
Spiritual Aspect
This is us as the Inquirer, and the highest manifestation is Peace. The skills we develop are Prospecting (Investigation) and Sensing (Sensation). This is the field of Ecological Science.
Achiever self – Warrior: to achieve.
Ecological self – Priest/Priestess: to aspire.
Mental Aspect
This is us as the Creator, and the highest manifestation is Joy. The skills we develop are Observation (Observing) and Imagination (Concentration). This is the field of Arts and Culture.
Integrated self – King/Queen: to be a role model.
Holistic self – Higher Self: to create
Purpose is not a future goal; it is something we are doing in every single moment. Everything that comes into our space is there so that we can fulfill the purpose presented to us in the moment.
If we find ourselves in an unhappy place it is because we have not learned how to make ourselves happy. If we see things in the world or our life that we do not like, then it is because there are parts in ourselves that we are not in harmony with. For example, if your life is complicated then you have not integrated the part of you that loves simplicity. We all have all parts; we cannot deny parts of ourselves without feeling and seeing the consequences.
Painful experiences teach us about vulnerability and when we have tough experiences it often reflects a great unconscious desire to transcend the shadow frequency. Nothing is without reason; every moment has a purpose it fulfills. Fears are always gateways to higher awareness. When we stop seeing suffering as such, and choose to see the opportunity it brings then we do not suffer.
We are not the character/roles/personality, we are really the player. We can expand our consciousness to see the ebb and flow of events, with appreciation or compassion, but without losing ourselves in it.
My life experiences have led me to conclude that life is a game, a game of spiritual transformation, and the name of the game is “Who do I think I am?” Read more about this idea in Life as a Game. It doesn’t mean I am right, but it does mean I am brave enough to share my opinion.
Here are some rules I am discovering along the way:
Only the rules of the game matter.
Recognize that the source of all we have is life, nothing really belongs to any of us. This sets us free.
Nobody is a victim here, in any way. It is the victim mindset that we transcend when we learn to elevate ourselves above fearful reactions.
There are two primary levels in the game, ego level and higher self level. All fears belong to the ego and are doorways to the higher self. The goal of the game is to clean our system so that we can host our higher self.
Any action taken out of fear will create the exact thing we hope to avoid.
Beyond Good and Evil
Our Player self is beyond good and evil. There is no judgement.
Heaven (peace, love, joy) is a state of mind that is born out of the shadow self.
The mind is the only thing that affects the game.
The earth and our bodies are holographic bio computers, and the body is a learning device for the mind.
We come here to experience the full spectrum of possibilities through many seemingly different lives. We must complete the entire curriculum before graduating.
Faith or Determination
We must take responsibility for ourselves. We must cultivate either faith or determination to rise above the fear fog.
Our game is relative to our life, nothing is random, everything in our path is for our benefit, no matter what it may look like it is a part of the quest we are on.
The challenger is our ego self (the personality we think we are, the characters and roles we have been conditioned to play).
The Goal
The goal of the game is Self Realization (to know ourselves authentically by filling ourselves with truth and joy).
There are an infinite number of paths to the truth.
We must choose authentic joy, it is our uniqueness and where our genius is.
Through our joy we learn that to give is to receive.
Compassion and appreciation are the best responses in any situation.
To let the body go at the time of death knowing that death is not real.
Expanding Consciousness
The primary quest is to give up belief in illusions. Illusions include the entire world and our ego as one projection. We joyfully give up all mental attachments to the ego and the material world and open to receive pure source energy.
We must learn to use the laws of opposites to reintegrate our consciousness. We must aspire through consistent effort to expand our consciousness to a holistic level.
Leveling Up
We level up by collecting the gold from every experience. This means we use whatever comes to us as an opportunity to lift us higher and make us wiser.
We must face our pain, go through it, forgive and choose integrity.
Perspectives and perceptions are learned. There is no inherit meaning, only that which is chosen to be seen or unseen. We must learn to choose our beliefs and act accordingly.
Anything is possible when we believe wholeheartedly and act in harmony.
When we start to unplug the system will challenge us in every way.
We are each beautiful and whole on our own, even when we are not fully aware of it yet. Each of us have needs to meet in order to feel fulfilled and live an authentic life. Sometimes we can feel unhappy, lost, or unloved without realizing that it can be resolved within ourselves, regardless of our circumstances. Learn about The Art of Self Love.
When we are unhappy all that is happening is that we are choosing things that make us unhappy. Unhappiness is a state of confusion.
Depression can be a major catalyst for the Process of Transformation. Being depressed means you are ready to move to the next level!
Many of us never learned how to care for our emotional well-being and find our joy. Nobody here is a victim in any way whatsoever, we are here to learn together.
What is emotional well-being?
Emotional wellbeing means you feel good, about yourself, your life, the people around you, what do you, what you say and everything in between. It is a state of inner and outer harmony. Emotional wellbeing is only authentic if it does not depend on an external source.
Negative emotions create disorder in the body and positive feelings such as gratitude create increased order resulting in improved digestive, cardiovascular, immune, hormonal, cognitive, and other functions like intuition.
Our feelings guide us. They are our direct feedback system designed to let us know in which direction to go. All feelings are valid because they need to be allowed and understood if we want to integrate all parts of our consciousness.
Many people are raised in unhealthy emotional environments, this is part of our evolution, but it needs to be understood because it creates characters who do not know how to be honest, trust themselves, the world, others, or their feelings, and who suppress, deny, and reject parts of themselves that their parents or caregivers were not able to accept or love because they have their own unresolved emotional wounds. Emotional immaturity is passed down unconsciously because people are not aware of it.
Psychological Projection
Everything we see is a projection from our mind. Read more about it in Life as a game. The mind has an image of what it desires, judges as valuable and then seeks to find it. These images are projected outward, and this is what we think we see, what we think is real and what we base our behavior on. Therefore, what is in our mind will determine what we create. This is why childhood conditioning is our toolbox with which we create, for better or worse, unless we consciously grow and expand ourselves continuously.
It is important to learn to distinguish between love and guilt. Codependent relationships are fear based and present guilt as care or love. In codependent relationships we project our unresolved emotional issues onto those around us. Codependent relationships can become clingy because without someone else holding our emotional baggage for us, we have to deal with it ourselves, which is what leads to growth.
If we grow up in an environment where the parents are not able to care for their own emotional well-being, we will not know what unconditional love is and without resolution we will recreate the same patterns in our own relationships because we will not be able to discern between guilt and love. Be aware of how prevalent these patterns are, for example, organized religion can be a codependent relationship based on fear.
The relationship with ourselves
There is ultimately only one relationship that is important. Any other relationship we have will reflect the one we have with ourselves, whether we are conscious enough to notice it or not. The relationship with ourselves is about The Art of Self Love and the foundation of the Process of Transformation.
Self Soothing
First, we learn to accept every feeling, and choose to consciously move ourselves to a better frame of mind, every time it is needed. This is what emotionally mature parents teach their children. All emotions want to, and need to, be seen, felt, heard, and understood. We only judge things that we do not understand. In order to integrate our consciousness all aspects are brought into balance and harmony. We give ourselves compassion for being human and learn through every experience. Every experience contains a piece of gold, pain is our greatest teacher.
Self Care
As we accept ourselves more, we become more honest with ourselves and make decisions that lead us to peace and joy. What we eat, where we live, how we live, who we spend our time with, and how we spend our time become a real priority and we take the steps necessary to care for ourselves in every way possible, one step at a time. When we choose peace then things become allot simpler. During this stage we start to trust life because we have real evidence as we achieve manageable goals.
Self Love
Love seeds love. Through self care we embrace ourselves, we show ourselves love through the actions and thoughts we now choose. We notice how our beliefs are changing, and we realize that others reflect the love we have for ourselves. We open our minds to see the incredible gift that we are and that life is. We realize that love is something we grow inside of ourselves. We realize that we can only give to others what we have. As we grow in love for life and ourselves we are able to feel compassion for others and choose to understand before judging. We choose to forgive, all the time, because it sets us free. Because we are no longer fearful we can be fully present to the moment, whatever it offers us.
Higher Love
As we become more intimate with ourselves and life we expand our consciousness through the integration of seemingly opposite ideas. We create inner peace. Our vision is no longer obscured by fear and we embody our true authentic self more every day. The love we give ourselves is now continuously being refilled by life, we have surrendered, we live in love, we feel love in everything and everywhere, and see it in everyone now because we understand what the journey of life is really for. We live free and at peace, and the world around us reflect this. We choose to share this higher love in whatever situation we find ourselves because there is nothing else that compares. Life now lives through us.
Recognize that the source of all we have is life, nothing really belongs to any of us. This sets us free. Give to life what we want to receive.
We are like molecules that fit into each other. From a passing glimpse, a friendship to a romantic tale, they are the ones that we are magnetically attracted to. Attraction is something completely impersonal for the purpose of learning and evolution because everyone we come into contact with is seen through the filters of our own projections and mental filters.
If we can look at attraction as something designed for learning, to show us our shadow and to trigger unresolved emotional issues for resolution, then we can liberate our relationships.
Integrity
Emotional immaturity is probably the greatest barrier to harmonious relationships. Unresolved issues that present themselves as emotional reactions break down the trust in a relationship because they are fear based.
In the earlier stages of new relationships the reality is often obscured, especially when we have conditioned relationship strategies based on insecure attachment. We mirror each other both consciously and unconsciously, in order for things to flow, and then as the relationship progresses we allow more of ourselves to be seen because we feel safe, and things we can’t hide indefinitely start to show, and so incompatibilities can take anything from a few weeks, months or years to show. We think people change but we just become more ourselves in relationships over time.
Integrity is the foundation of any authentic or emotionally mature relationship. A mature relationship respects the unique individual, and is found on trust and mutual understanding.
Higher Purpose
From a higher perspective we meet exactly the right people at the right time based on our current configuration in order to develop our spiritual self which requires awareness, release, and forgiveness.
The moment we start casting people into roles in our lives we get up to all kinds of interesting stories. We lose ourselves in make-believe-I-am-a-some-body, sometimes with hundreds of roles.
Ultimately psychological projection shows that we are an actor to others, and play the movie director casting actors in roles in our own fantasy, created from childhood conditioning, fears, and desires. Read more about it in Life as a game.
As a game of spiritual development with the goal of self-realization, self-fulfillment, and self-love nothing is ever random and there are people with whom we have bonds that go beyond any conscious human understanding.
The Spectrum of Relationships
The Spectrum of Relationships is a framework to understand the nature and purpose of different relationships in our lives. Our subjective human experience is an evolution of awareness so we are often not aware of our own situation or potential without seeing a larger picture. We often do now allow relationships to serve their purpose because we become entangled in beliefs and values we adopted from our society and culture. Fear prevents many people from moving on to better and more harmonious relationships because they are not aware that this is a primary feature of the design of the entire system of life.
When we trust life, focus on getting our lessons in every situation, listen to the feedback we get from life, master ourselves, master our desires, and take the necessary actions to achieve self-realization through our higher purpose and self-fulfillment we will allow our lives to unfold and continuously move into higher and higher frequencies.
Family
The family that we are born into is not random at all. In most cases it will bring opposites come together in order to allow for the greatest expansion. A parent who cannot sit still will inevitably have a child who embodies stillness, or the father who is a major financial achiever will inevitable have a child who cannot or will not be a similar achiever.
Our families are probably the least compatible individuals we spend a significant amount of time with. Conditioning in this way allows for the greatest amount of diversity and potential. It is very important that children are allowed to individuate. It requires some level of emotional maturity in the parents otherwise we end up with enmeshment, co-dependency and other unhealthy dynamics. Many people never become who they really are because they fear the loss of connection from their family. Many of us do not mature if our family are not emotionally mature, and maturing requires us to change the relationship we have with our family, sometimes we have to let go. The world needs people who see things differently, and are willing to do things differently.
Chance Encounters
Just being in the same space as someone else affects us in ways that we cannot always understand with our conscious mind because of projection and the exchange of energy that takes place. Just one meeting with someone that embodies a frequency we have never encountered will noticeably affect us. We can meet someone at an art exhibition or a gas station that deeply affects us. We just never forget some people because they represent some part in ourselves. Once we can see the world from a metaphysical perspective and understand the psychology of projection it is easier to grasp these encounters and their purpose in our lives.
Friendship
Friendships have the potential to be the best type of relationship because they can be free from compulsions. Friendships can last from a few hours, days, or a lifetime. When a relationship is free from compulsion it has the greatest opportunity to teach us because we can be honest with each other, learn the most about ourselves, others, and the world. In a friendship we have the greatest amount of freedom to change and evolve as we focus on our own development.
Romance
Our deep desire for spiritual reunion (energetic reunion with our source) is the foundation of attraction. When the attraction is strong enough it can be an incredibly powerful force. Love is the foundation of this universe and we prove it to ourselves all the time. There are many different types of romantic relationships, from fantasy relationships, casual encounters, short term hookups, a few months, and then longer term relationships.
Romantic relationships are connections that focus predominately in the lower 4 chakras / energy centers (root, sacral, navel, and solar plexus). The only relationships that can be harmonious and long lasting include mutual growth and development towards self actualization which requires the relationship to move into the hear chakra and through to the higher chakras / energy centers (heart, thyroid, throat, eye, and crown), which makes it a soul mate or sacred partnership. The reason these higher chakra relationships are still in the minority is because romantic love is primarily associated with fulfilling basic needs like safety, stability, security, emotional experiences, desires, sexual and physically intimate experiences, ego gratification, self-esteem, and other pleasure based experiences. In general these are superficial ego based romances that are for reproduction. These can be short or long, troubled, intense and commonly involve children. Read Understanding Spiritual Development and the Quality of Relationships.
Most romantic relationships are individuals who come together because their trauma bonds are compatible. These are relationships that come to help us heal unresolved emotional trauma. They are not always healthy relationships, often inauthentic (even unconsciously), codependent, and often have a similar dynamic we had with our parents, especially if we have a difficult relationship with one parent. Once we become aware of how our past affects our current relationships, do the work to heal our emotional body, and learn to distinguish between healthy and unhealthy love, then our relationship template is updated and we will attract healthier partners into our lives. Sometimes some people come into our lives simply so that we can say no, I have learned the lesson.
Karmic Relationships
Karmic Relationships are relationships between individuals that are for the purpose of manifesting karma and situations to resolve emotional trauma. This means that these relationships cannot and will not evolve past the 4 lower charkas / energy centers (root, sacral, navel, and solar plexus). Trauma bonds, as mentioned above, will be present along with incompatibility and general disharmony. What sets a karmic relationship apart from other relationship types is that there will be a lack of unconditional love, and they can be extremely difficult to detach from because most people have allot of unresolved emotional trauma from just living in the current world. Read Understanding Spiritual Development and the Quality of Relationships.
These relationships are energetic bonds created with our root, sacral, navel, and solar plexus energy centers / chakras which makes them very intense (or later very boring), compulsive, and we often loose our unique identity in these relationships because their presence requires a lack of development in the solar plexus center which governs our will, self-confidence, and self-assurance.
Trauma bonds are very deep energetic blocks in our energy field, and in order to free ourselves from these bonds we have to integrate allot of unconscious information. Transcending these relationships requires us to do emotional body work, some form of therapy, gain deeper psychological self-awareness, and become self-empowered. This is why so many people get stuck in these relationships.
Think of individuals who are in unhealthy relationships with their parents, or a couple who cannot seem to let go of their passionate but troubled relationship no matter what they do. Karmic relationships can often be associated with violence and aggression because they are triggering deep immature emotional energy.
It can be dangerous to continue in these relationships once the universe has presented opportunities for the individuals to move apart. Remaining in these relationships after the emotional triggers have occurred can affect everything in our lives, and everything we attempt to create. Once these relationships come to an end it is vital for the individuals to spend enough time on their own in order to process the lessons they learned, otherwise they will repeat the same lessons in the next relationship they get involved in.
Soul Mates
Soul Mates are those soul connections that starts to open our hearts. They are connections that form in the lower 4 chakras / energy centers and into the heart center. They are meaningful bonds where a deeper authentic connection is possible when there is complementary compatibility and maturity.
In Soul Mate connections we we get to know our authentic self, our conditioning, and we learn what it means to experience greater degrees of unconditional love. They can still be a positive or negative experience depending on our attachment style, masculine and feminine balance, current energetic configuration, relationship template, and level of awareness.
These experiences are powerful drivers for the Process of transformation and shadow work because they teach us what we really want, and need in order to be self-empowered individuals. We are always provided with what we need to expand our consciousness, realize inner truth, and achieve self-fulfillment. Authentic Self-love is the highest vibration frequency in this world.
A true Sacred Partnership or Twin Flame connection is an uplifting, loving, compassionate, mature, and lasting relationship with a companion that is truly compatible on a physical, mental, emotional and spiritual level. These Sacred Partnerships are beyond romance even if they may contain it, and they are identified by the devotion of two individuals to their individual higher purpose and self-actualization. Read Understanding Spiritual Development and the Quality of Relationships.
These connections have the possibility of connecting through all 9 chakras / energy centers: root, sacral, navel, solar plexus, heart, thyroid, throat, eye, and crown. This type of relationship is only possible when the lower 4 chakras / energy centers are coherent, and the emotional body has been healed to a great extent. These relationships are recognized by the unconditional love that is present because these individuals have balanced their masculine and feminine aspects within themselves, developed self-love, and unconditional love within themselves which they can now share. Because the heart connection is present it allows the individuals to continue to do their personal transformation for self-actualization in a safe space. In these relationships nothing is hidden and we are continuously expressing our authentic self and our needs. These relationships are for individuals who are consciously realizing inner truth, developing their intuition and higher abilities, self-actualizing, and growing in their spiritual connection to all of life.
The easiest way to distinguish these relationships is that they are harmonious 95% of the time and they will not be focused on issues relating to safety, security, emotions, lower frequency desires, sexuality, and self-assurance because these individuals have already worked through the issues relating to the lower chakras and their lives, and lifestyle will be the evidence for it.
Holy Relationships & Twin Flames
In some cases the universe will bring together two individuals who are each other’s extreme opposite, black and white, to such a degree that they are not compatible for any other relationship but a holy one intended for spiritual liberation, shadow work, and unconditional love. A holy relationship serves the collective by bringing two individuals together for energy exchange and awareness so that they can balance the masculine and feminine aspects within themselves, and then with each other. These two individuals will have a magnetic attraction, but can exhibit polar opposite traits, habits, values, beliefs, and they can dislike many things about each other initially. This energetic dynamic may be obscured initially through projection or it may not, but time will reveal the purpose of the relationship.
The defining factor for a holy relationships is that the two individuals can develop a spiritual bond that transcends both friendship and romance, even if they may include it at various stages, and that can last for the rest of their lives. It is important not to confuse a holy relationship with a sacred partnership which is a relationship based on compatibility and complementary traits, habits, values, and beliefs. Read Understanding Spiritual Development and the Quality of Relationships.
Animal Companions
Animal Companions have always played a significant role in human relationships and they still do. For many people, specifically those with insecure attachment, it is vital for their survival because animals, and especially dogs, channel source energy without much resistance. This means that the animal becomes a source of unconditional love and acceptance. Animals can play a similar mirroring role that humans do where they can teach us about our conditioning, and that is why we often see some similarities between the human and their animal companion. The relationship also creates a safe space where we can develop certain skills required for holistic development and personal growth such as the capacity for intimacy, trust, and unconditional love. Animal companions can also help humans regulate their nervous system, be mindful, and balance their hormones. One of the greatest gifts of an animal companion is the ability to do inner child work together.
Spirit Relationships
Spiritual relationships play different roles in various cultures and can vary greatly due to the individual subjective experience of life, conditioning, and the innate abilities each human vehicle has and can develop. The most significant aspect of this relationship is that it has the ability to create a secure relationship for an individual and allow them to develop trust, intuitive abilities, understanding, insight and unconditional love. This relationship can be with an imaginary friend, an ancient spiritual master, a god, gods, spiritual guides, ancestors, thought forms, and other energetic beings that inhabit different dimensions including the collective unconscious. With these relationships the purpose and benefit is more important than the type. These relationships can be both positive and negative, negative experiences are learning opportunities, usually to develop strength and awareness.
All things supernatural, energy forms, thought forms, aliens, spirits, and other worldly beings are all different forms of energy that exist in different dimensions. We can experience and see them depending on our own level of awareness. They are as we are, and subject to polarity to various degrees because we are all part of the manifested worlds. Consciousness is the source of all forms, beyond all of it, and beyond the polarity of good, and bad.
Spiritual Guide Relationships
Those who have expanded their consciousness and achieved coherence in all 9 energy centers (root, sacral, navel, solar plexus, heart, thyroid, throat, eye, and crown) are a special gift to the world and those individuals who come into contact with them. Ultimately they make us aware of our own potential and inspire us to expand our own consciousness. Our experience of a Spiritual Guide varies depending on our own current level of awareness.
Higher Love
As we dissolve the unnecessary through the Process of transformation and the tension for transformation we open our vehicle to greater love frequencies, and embody our higher self or soul consciousness. Through the process of self-love, self-knowing, self-realization, self-actualization, and self-fulfillment we no longer see ourselves as the character or roles. When we are no longer attached to our personality we can see and experience life, and love, from a metaphysical perspective. In this state of unconditional love, love it is all around us, felt in everything and we see the beauty and truth in everyone.
