We are like molecules that fit into each other. From a passing glimpse, a friendship to a romantic tale, they are the ones that we are attracted to. I think attraction is something completely impersonal for the purpose of learning and evolution.
I have had a number of cases where the Profiles vehicle configurations come together with obvious potential conscious to both parties, but where the character development is incompatible, for example due to spiritual development, emotional development, lifestyle or psychological attachment style. If we can look at attraction as something designed for learning, to show us our shadow and to trigger unresolved emotional issues for resolution, then we can liberate our relationships.
Emotional immaturity is probably the greatest barrier to harmonious relationships. Unresolved issues that present themselves as emotional reactions break down the trust in a relationship because they are fear based.
Shadow work and healthy boundaries are essential for self development and honesty in a relationship.
Integrity is the foundation of any authentic or emotionally mature relationship. A mature relationship respects the unique individual and is found on trust and mutual understanding.
From a Higher Self perspective we meet exactly the right people at the right time based on our current configuration in order to develop our spiritual self which requires awareness, release and forgiveness.
The moment we start casting people into roles in our lives we get up to all kinds of interesting stories. We lose our Self in make-believe-I-am-a-some-body, sometimes with hundreds of roles.
Ultimately psychological projection shows that we are an actor to others, and play the movie director casting actors in roles in our own fantasy, created from childhood conditioning, fears, and desires. Read more about it in Life as a game.
As a game of spiritual development with the goal of self realization nothing is ever random and there are people with whom we have bonds that go beyond any human mind understanding.
Types of Soul Connections
The family that we are born into is not random at all. I have seen so many patterns through Human Design profiles that it is unmistakable. You can look at my Human Design family tree here to get an idea of what I mean if you have a basic understanding of the system. The interesting thing is that the common pattern is opposites come together. A parent who cannot sit still will inevitably have a child who embodies stillness, or the father who is a major financial achiever will inevitable have a child who cannot or will not be an achiever.
Our families are probably the least compatible individuals we spend a significant amount of time with. Conditioning in this way allows for the greatest amount of diversity and potential. It is very important that children are allowed to individuate. It requires some level of emotional maturity in the parents otherwise we end up with enmeshment, co-dependency and other unhealthy dynamics. Many people never become who they really are because they fear the loss of connection from their family. Many of us do not mature if our family are not emotionally mature, and maturing requires us to change the relationship we have with our family, sometimes we have to let go when unconditional love is not possible. The world needs people who see things differently and are willing to do things differently.
Just being in the same space as someone else affects us in ways that we cannot always understand. Just one meeting with someone that embodies a frequency you have never encountered will noticeably affect you. I have had people I just met comment on how they feel around me, and how they feel after they leave.
I have met people at an art exhibition or a gas station that I felt was deeply meaningful. We just never forget some people.
This is my favorite type of soul connection because it is free to be whatever it can be. I think that in many cases this should be a conscious choice even if there is sexual attraction. As we regain our enthusiasm for developing self discipline we become less overwhelmed by sexual desires and choose higher ideals for our relationships.
I believe we can love many people deeply and share in healthy relationships for everyone’s benefit. Intimacy is about allot more than physical closeness. Physical intimacy can have a higher purpose and even be present in friendships, but it will be free from compulsion or expectations because the meaning will be different.
Our deep desire for spiritual reunion (energetic reunion with our source) is the foundation of attraction. When the attraction is strong enough it can be an incredibly powerful force. Love is the foundation of this universe and we prove it to ourselves all the time. The only relationships that really last are ones that include mutual growth and development towards self actualization / self realization. Self love will always come first.
There are superficial ego based romances that are vital for evolution. These can be short or long, troubled, intense and commonly involve children.
Soulmates are those soul connections that can stop us in our tracks. They are meaningful bonds where a deep authentic connection is possible. We desire to be closer to the other person and can fall in love. Age, race and gender do not matter in these bonds. These are the relationships where we get to know ourselves and our conditioning. It is really a form of pushing upward spiritually even if it is unconscious. Incompatibility here can be a major issue and we do not always see it because of the emotions that come with it.
Twin flame soul connections are really something different. They come with an unstoppable force to open our heart. The experience often triggers an inner burning and can be a major catalyst for the Process of transformation. We experience ourselves in another body, the similarities are undeniable across the board. It is a mind altering experience where we are overcome with unconditional love and compassion. In an aura like this we can hear each other’s thoughts and know each others feelings when empathetic abilities or sensitivities have been developed, which is common at this stage of spiritual development. These connections come when either or both have developed sufficiently spiritually (inner healing) for a heart opening experience. Even in these cases there may be significant incompatibility but the powerful effect on both individuals is unmistakable, it is a spiritual wake-up call, neither will ever be the same again no matter how long it lasts.
As we dissolve the unnecessary through the Process of transformation we open our vehicle to greater love frequencies, and embody our higher self or soul consciousness. Through the process of self love, self knowing, or self realization we no longer see ourselves as the character or roles. Because we are not attached to our personality we see and experience life and love differently. In this state love is all around us, felt in everything and we see the divine in everyone. We are in love with life and want to share our love with those around us unconditionally. This state invites pure soul connections that are free, authentic and devoted to a higher purpose. Read more about it in A Different Kind of Love.
If life is designed for constant evolution, then how are we preventing expansion based on old ideas about what relationships and family structures should look like. I think that is why our relationships have changed some much in many places around the world.
As spiritual beings we are all each others brothers and sisters. We all belong together as one whole. The idea of separation is the primary illusion, it is what makes this game possible.
I think as more people learn everyday psychology, shadow work and choose to focus on self actualization we will interact differently, and new types of relationship dynamics will become more common. I think we will see more modern tribal structures.